


Du Sang

by Nikoshinigami



Series: The Parts That Bind [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-17 03:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5851876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikoshinigami/pseuds/Nikoshinigami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only difference between Cat Noir and Adrien Agreste was the way he felt about himself. Now targeted by Hawk Moth and forced into a position of dire consequence, can Adrien save himself and Ladybug or will a sacrifice need to be made?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the crappy title. We'll see if it sticks.

Cat Noir was in love. The sweaty palms, the palpitations in his chest, the sudden airlessness in his lungs every time she came near, they were all classic signs of a chronic infatuation with the one and only Ladybug. Some of it might have also been from the fact that he was running over rooftops and flipping through the air with laser-bolts firing at his heels but besides that he was absolutely sure it was love. Because a normal person would probably be afraid right now. A normal person _should_ have been afraid of death or dismemberment or both in the wrong order. But she was with him, and she would never let him down. They were a team. He trusted her with his life and would lay down his own for her without pause or hesitation. And it was friendship too; of course it was that. But even without the running and leaping and lasers and flips and strange villains in pursuit, his heart still felt like it might break his ribs with its violent percussion in his chest. Because it was love. One hundred percent. And it filled him up so full with life that with each leap he felt he could fly.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked, using his tail to redirect him to a canopy below them instead of the neighboring roof. The villain in pursuit--Laser Disc--overshot them and had to loop back around on his giant, holographic ringed CD.

Cat Noir didn't miss a beat, even with his mind less than focused. He bounced down the canopy, his staff in hand. "Just trying to keep paw-sitive," he joked, siding up close beside her. With one arm around Ladybug's waist, he waited for their last bounce then pole vaulted them across the busy street over the traffic and out of harms way. People were screaming but they sort of did that anyway--especially with crazed disc jockeys flying in the air behind them.

He crouched low on the sidewalk, taking a protective stance, waiting while his partner called forth her Lucky Charm. His ring had only three pads left on the paw, his Cataclysm being used to get them out of a previous trap. Still plenty of time, though. Their enemy kept his distance, not trusting them now that they were no longer running away. He stood triumphant aboard his music disc, his bright yellow headphones and flaming red hair making him difficult to look at in the sunlight.

"This one goes out to all the super heroes in the house!" he announced to the terrified crowd. "Let's give it up for Ladybug and Cat Noir, everybody!" He aimed his laser at the disc at his feet and began to play another song. Dark trance--not Chat Noir's favorite but still something he could dance to. He put his hands to his ears to protect himself, though; making sure to keep the dangerous sounds from controlling him in the same way it controlled the crowds. 

And then, quite suddenly, the fight was over. In a surprising leap from behind, Ladybug had launched herself towards Laser Disc with her yoyo poised to strike. On her head were ladybug printed earmuffs. She knocked the headphones off him before he even seemed to know what hit him. Then they were broken. Then the butterfly was captured and allowed to fly away. Paris became healed of all its damage while an aspiring mix artists sat stunned on the sidewalk, confused by his presence as all villains had been before. Another day saved by the miraculous Ladybug. Cat Noir couldn't be prouder, nor any more enchanted.

"Well done!" they called in unison, their fists gently colliding in the air between them. 

Ladybug smiled, her face alight with the rush they both felt after saving the day. Adrenalin was still running through their veins, putting a rosy tint to their cheeks and a shakiness in their muscles as they stood apart from each other. The beep of another pad disappearing from the paw on his ring caught Ladybug's attention immediately, the happy daze falling aside for ordinary business. 

"You'd better go," she advised, already starting to turn away.

Cat Noir had grabbed hold of her arm before his mind had even finished formulating the command. Not yet, he thought. This wasn't enough. As much as he loved being with her like this, saving the day and being the hero, these few, heavily interrupted minutes of his week were simply not enough.

She looked at his hand on her arm then back at him, her expression confused if not slightly put off.

"Wait," he said, though he'd already made sure she would for now. "I was just thinking. We should, uh... we should hang out some time. Not just for these sorts of things. Like... like friends."

Ladybug sighed, her tone exasperated, as though they'd been through this all before. "Listen, I really don't want to know your secret identity. Or have you know mine," she explained. And truthfully, they had been over _that_ before.

But this wasn't about _that_. "No, I mean... I don't mean hang out as our other selves. I mean like us now. Ladybug and Cat Noir. Just with less people trying to kill us."

She frowned slightly, the 'no' it seemed like she wanted to say at least waiting in line behind the consideration of a 'yes'. Cat Noir wanted this. Almost more than anything, he wanted to he around her more. Maybe she'd like him if she saw him as more than just a partner in justice. Maybe? Even if she didn't, at least then he would feel like he gave it a chance.

One of the spots on her earring gave way, the beep sounding loud in the air between them as her eyes grew wider for a moment and her arm fell from his grasp. "Look, maybe we'll talk about this later. Okay? We both need to go before our miraculous power down."

His mouth was still open, half forming the words he wanted to call out, but she was already gone, leaping back onto the rooftops to destinations unknown. And they would remain unknown. Because she wanted it that way. Adrenalin depleted and depression setting in, he hurried off to find somewhere secluded to turn back into ordinary Adrien Agreste. If the transformation had the decency to withhold all feelings of affection from one identity to the other, it would certainly have been miraculous. But it didn't--of course it didn't. The only difference between Cat Noir and Adrien was the way he felt about himself. 

Shrugging his way out of the alleyway and onto the street, Adrien looked around for a shop from which to purchase some Camembert. Plagg had earned it, after all. At least one of them should get what they wanted. It wasn't hard to find--he'd more or less mapped out vendors throughout Paris over time to get his kwami his fix. In no time at all he had a small box in his hand with his feet making him destined for home.

Home. Well, he lived there so he supposed that was technically the right word. He might even run into his father if he was lucky. Tell him how school had gone. Ask about his day. It might be worth it to, for once, make up an excuse as to where he'd been with all the madness of the disc jockey villain terrorizing the city. Just in case someone asked. Just in case someone cared beyond whether or not he'd met the items addressed to him on an itinerary. It was worth hoping for, though. A little. He couldn't really expect an entire day of rejection, could he?

He sighed loudly, kicking his feet against the concrete. He knew better. So long as he didn't mess up, he could forget about getting any attention from anyone at home. It was a wonder he hadn't succumbed to the tactics of other kids in his position: acting out, causing scenes, making trouble just to bring his father's scorn rather than indifference. What sort of hero would he be if he were to conduct himself like that, though? Not one worthy of Ladybug, that was for sure. Even if she never knew, he did and that still mattered. So it was quiet neglect at home and a strange form apathy at 'work'. At school, at least, he still had his friends. Even if things were changing for them all.

Nino had a girlfriend. Nino had a girlfriend and liked to spend a lot of time with her. Nino had a girlfriend and spent more time with her than with anyone else. Because Adrien's modeling schedules made his free time a bit too unknowable when plans were made in advance. He liked Alya just fine, really. She and Nino made a lot of sense. But Nino was his, and that was becoming more and more a big deal to hold on to. Except, of course, he couldn't. Because he had a career already. And it would upset his father if he didn't continue to meet expectations. So really, he supposed, he had... Plagg. Still better than nothing. At least he could have some small company while he spent his time alone.

Walking in through the front door to the empty sound of a hollow home, Adrien hurried to his bedroom to find at least some solace in his personal sanctuary where heartache didn't echo so loud.

\---

_There._

The shutters retracted from the circular window, letting light pour in on a sea of butterflies. Even with the window closed, he could still see it--could still see _him_. The pain of unfulfilled desires; the sorrow of unmet expectations. Another broken heart in the city of love. Another disillusioned soul to bend to his command.

The ring would make an excellent host to his akuma. It was mildly noteworthy to see this new target was one he knew very well. All the better, really. He already knew this one could follow clear instructions and obey. Perhaps he would even be of use for once in more ways than the simple, lucrative ones. He'd get him the miraculous. They could do this as father and son. It was beautiful, really, to be able to involve him at last. This would be it--Hawk Moth could feel it in his bones.

He sent the akuma on its way, knowing by his own sight the path it would take to find Adrien alone in his room, in the very building where he stood. It took seconds, really for it to land upon his ring, and an even shorter amount of time for it to turn back and fly away.

That had never happened before. Hawk Moth stared at the anomaly, watching as his akuma returned to lay in his palm, quivering gently against his glove. It was impossible, surely, for something to reject the presence of his akuma. There was no known case of this ever happening in all his time making villains out of the people of Paris outside. The only thing that could possibly resist being taken over by his powers... was they very thing he was searching for in the first place.

Hawk Moth looked again at his son, imagining the mask, the ears, the suit and the tail. Could the universe really be so cruel as to make his own son his enemy? But what other reason was there for his butterfly's failure? And if Adrien possessed the Cat Noir miraculous, then that meant he'd have to....

Oh, but he couldn't. Could he? The fact that the idea had even occurred to him said more than enough on his willingness to do whatever it took to make the miraculous his alone.

He smiled, letting his joy roll into laughter which echoed in the chamber like thunder. He had Cat Noir literally right under his nose and, if he played his cards right, he'd have Ladybug shortly too. All it was going to take was a little bit of creativity and eventually they'd both gladly give their miraculous to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Marinette could not pay attention in class. She had awoken that morning with every intention of being a good student, had been prepared for class and arrived on time if not a little early, but none of that mattered the second she watched Adrien walk into the classroom. She liked to consider herself a scholar when it came to his face and the plethora of expressions he utilized. She had a whole area on her bedroom wall devoted to his smiles, his serious gaze, his flirtatious smirks and his take on the iconic, fashionable stare of indiscriminate intensity. He was a master of subtle expression and could present himself with any facade imaginable. But today when he smiled softly in polite greeting, Marinette could detect nothing smile-like at all in his eyes. It was so surprising, she completely forgot how to speak for a moment, simultaneously forgetting good manners as well as she stared at him until he was seated and his back turned. She'd never seen such a forced expression on his face before. And with that, the entire contents of her day in school were made moot. Nothing was more important than trying to figure out what was wrong with Adrien.

She watched Nino, expecting some signs there related to some secret intel shared between two friends. He chatted with Alya mostly, though, and seemed unaware of his desk-mate's facade. He seemed to buy the smile just as well as everyone else had, with no one exchanging questioning looks or whispering to each other about Adrien. Was she the only one who had noticed? Had she maybe read into things a bit too far? She wracked her brain all through class and even resorted to studying his photographs during lunch to assure herself she was just imagining things. But when class began again and Adrien smiled at her as before, the sheer wrongness of it was all the more made abundantly and inescapable clear. Something was _definitely_ wrong with Adrien. She only wished she had the courage to ask him what it was.

She knew him about as well as anyone else did, she figured. There had been a few articles in fashion magazines, and his family was rather famous in fashion circles as well, but they weren't exactly close or anything like that outside her as the audience and him the icon. She didn't have his confidence. They talked about things like school--when she wasn't stammering and saying something ridiculous--and about things going on that they were both a part of. They didn't talk about themselves. He'd been to her home--because of a gaming competition--but they mostly talked about what they were there for, Marinette's own parents only being part of the conversation because they would not stop being part of their afternoon. Did she had a right, then, to ask him what was wrong when he so obviously wanted everyone to think he was alright?

Head on her desk and misery in her head, Marinette relinquished herself to the torture that was sure to be had on either side of the decision. If she managed to ask him, would he be offended and deny it, harboring resentment towards her forever after because she called attention to his disguise? But if she didn't say anything, then it was the same as not caring and she didn't want to give him any reason to ever think it was that.

A sigh and a tap against the top of her head made Marinette turn her face to the side and stare instead at the disappointed gaze of her best friend. 

"What has gotten into you today?" Alya asked, her things packed up and waiting in a stack on the desk.

Marinette sat up quickly, looking around, noticing the classroom had become empty with only the two of them still there. Adrien had left. She gasped in realization and hastily began to pack up her things, hoping he hadn't gone far, taking her own anxiety as a sign of what she knew she had to do.

"Marinette? Hello? What is going on?"

Marinette couldn't slow down; she had to move fast. "Sorry, Alya. I just...--did Adrien just leave?"

That alone seemed to settle things. With a knowing smile, Alya shook her head and slung the strap of her light blue satchel over her shoulder. "I should have known. He only just left. You thinking of finally confessing your true feelings for him?"

Only just left? There was time, then. Marinette grabbed her bag and half ran out the door, calling back with a quick "I'll explain later!" as she raced to the stairs with eager eyes scanning the crowd. It seemed as though she needn't have worried about him leaving, though. He stood in the courtyard with Nino, the two of them talking animatedly about thing that they both seemed interested in. She slowed down, letting herself observe the pair, looking for the signs of wrongness she'd seen before and finding a genuinely happy Adrien standing there instead. That was great, of course, but still confusing. Perhaps he'd only seemed disingenuous when trying to smile at her?

Her mind and heart hadn't even begun to process that possible bombshell before Alya's arm hooked in with her own, dragging her over to the boys regardless of Marinette's sudden horror and distress. No, no, no, she did not want to bother them! But Alya's grip was strong and they'd already noticed them and any retreat would be rude from here on. She tried to smile, feeling immediately sheepish and distraught. 

"So," Alya began, only letting Marinette go once assured she would not flee. "What's everyone so excited about?"

Marinette tried not to make eye contact, her insides still in a spin over the potential heartache about to befall her. Adrien was simply magnetic, though, and she couldn't help but peek up through her lashes. To her surprise, Adrien looked just as happy to see her as he had been to be speaking to Nino. His green eyes were bright, his lips wide with his sparkling teeth showing between. He seemed like a completely changed person from the one that had greeted her in the classroom. For that, more than anything, she was relieved.

Nino moved closer to Alya, pointing back at Adrien with his thumb. "We were just talking about that show we like. You know, the one I told you to watch?"

Alya closed her eyes and shook her head, her auburn hair swishing with the motion. "Sorry; not my thing. You and Adrien can gush about it all you want but I'm not watching a show about a bald superhero," she said, both hands coming to her hips as she leaned in towards them. "Besides, why even bother with fake heroes when there's real ones right here in Paris?"

Adrien seemed to smile a little more as he shared a quick glance and mutual shrug with his best friend.

Alya grinned triumphantly, tugging on Nino's arm to regain his attention as she pulled just slightly towards the front doors. "So, Nino, I was thinking maybe you could walk me home?" she asked, her eyes making strange movements that seemed to be trying to convey some other message. "You know," she clarified, "get out of here so certain people to talk in private?"

Marinette's heart skipped a beat. Did she mean her and Adrien? Marinette wanted nothing more than to stop that from happening. Despite her actions earlier, there was absolutely no reason to leave them alone now! Adrien was just fine and all four of them could easily just chat and hang out like this for a while with no one being singled out and made to look like an idiot--namely Marinette herself. To make it worse, even Adrien seemed against it, his lips twitching just slightly as his smile once again seemed to melt from his eyes.

Nino looked confused for a moment then seemed to understand, nodding with exaggerated movements before winking at Marinette. "Oh! Right. Sure thing. Yeah, let's go ahead and do that. I'll see you later, Adrien!" he called back as he began to walk away.

"Yeah... later, Nino," Adrien replied. Even his voice seemed less jovial than before.

And then they were alone, or at least singled out from the others in their own cluster of two. Marinette and Adrien. Adrien and Marinette. Just two classmates standing in the courtyard, mostly looking at their feet, the walls, and the ceiling, saying absolutely nothing. Was she supposed to talk? Was he? What was she meant to say?! If she just went right to talking about how he hadn't seemed genuinely happy earlier, it would probably just upset him now. Even though, as she pondered in the awkward silence, he didn't seem all that happy now either. Maybe it really was her fault! Maybe she had done something to make him dislike her!

"Uh... well, I guess I'd better head home too," Adrien said at last, breaking the silence with softly spoken words though his feet remained planted where they stood. It didn't seem as though he was trying to hide anything anymore. He instantly looked tired, maybe even disappointed, with the effort to pretend that everything was alright retired for the rest of the day. He looked lonely, Marinette realized. And her mouth began conspiring before her brain had managed to catch up, spouting nonsense with good intentions at a speed that made little sense.

"You don't have to," she said. "I mean, I play games. _You_ play games, I mean. I mean... _we_ could play games. At my place. If you wanted to. Or... whatever." She steeled herself for swift rejection, mentally cringing at her own actions as she waited for Adrien to reply.

He didn't seem repulsed by the idea in the slightest, though. In fact, he looked rather surprised. "You mean go over to your place just to hang out?" he asked.

Marinette nodded, her hands nervous at her sides. 

"That'd be great."

For a second, Marinette was sure she'd gone deaf. Had she really just invited Adrien over to her home, and had he really just accepted? "Really?!" she said, unable to contain her amazement and glee.

Adrien nodded fast. "Yeah. I actually have the whole afternoon off," he explained.

"That's amazing!" Well, it wasn't actually, but the fact that he wanted to spend his free time with her was making her doubt she'd woken up that morning at all. "Okay, so, yeah. Any time. Like.. now. If you want."

"Now works. Now's great," he said. 

Giving her thigh a subtle pinch, Marinette still remained slightly unconvinced that this wasn't an amazing dream. Even if it was, though, she wasn't going to let that stop her. Adrien was coming home with her and they were going to talk about real things and become closer friends and he'd tell her everything that was wrong and she'd help him and, okay, so maybe she was getting ahead of herself and needed to be thinking about creating a distraction in order to take down the pictures on her wall but this was it; this was the start. Adrien wanted to spend time with her. Her feet were practically off the floor.

Marinette tried not to think too much about how she was walking or how loud her breathing might be and act as normal as possible as she and Adrien walked out the front doors. If it had seemed too good before, though, the sight of the awaiting limo outside certainly helped bring reality back into things. A dark haired woman with glasses was standing by the door, a tablet in her hand as she stood waiting outside the school. Marinette recognized her but did not know her name. She worked for Adrien's father, though, which meant the limo was for him. She looked rather severe and gave Adrien a stern frown as together they walked down the stairs.

"There's been a change to your schedule, Adrien. We need to leave now," she said, moving out of the way of the open limo door.

Adrien stood a little taller, his head cocking curiously to the side. "Oh? Will it take long? I wanted to--"

"I'm assured it will occupy the rest of your day," she explained, seeming less and less patient as he continued to simply stand. 

Adrien's shoulders sank as he turned towards Marinette, his eyes as vacant as they had been all morning. "Sorry, Marinette. Maybe some other time," he said, giving the same fake smile as before while he waved slightly and hurried towards his ride.

Marinette stood and watched as the limo drove away, watching until it disappeared, feeling deep down inside that something was indeed very wrong, though she still felt useless in many ways to do anything about it.


	3. Chapter 3

The pain was almost indescribable and it shocked Adrien awake as he curled up along his bed, feet tangling in the cool sheets as he writhed into a fetal pose. He could not breath for the pressure on his chest except for in raspy, struggling gasps. He could not see past the blinding pain that made all forms indiscriminate shapes and blobs of alternating shades of shadow. It felt as though he were being squeezed to death by some unseen force, the vice-like grip centered around his chest. And it hurt. It hurt so much more than anything he'd ever felt before. The gauze under his shaking palms that laid across his left breast gave him every reason to believe the pain was the least of his current concerns. Something was wrong; something had happened to him. His mind struggled to focus long enough to tell him what it could be.

There had been a hospital. Locale for a photo shoot? Yes. No. No, there was no photographer there. They left the limo and walked through to see the set but there was no set. There was just a hospital. And there was a man in a mask. And things became even more fuzzy after that. He remembered feelings more than sights or sounds. He remembered feeling confused for a very limited time. Then scared. Then angry. He'd wanted to become Cat Noir--something there required his heroic persona. But he couldn't get away. He'd felt trapped and somehow betrayed. They knew exactly who he was. Impossible. Undeniable. Then he felt scared again and everything, even emotion, went blank. There was nothing else between then and now outside the limited range of his perception.

Like the fact that he wasn't in a hospital anymore; the fact that he was most certainly back home.

He concentrated on breathing first and foremost. One impossible thing at a time was about as much as he could expect from himself. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, on and on until the pain of it dulled into something more akin to an ache. A lack of medical equipment said he'd been breathing just fine on his own a while ago. He'd startled himself into this predicament and only calm would see him out. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. He was in his own bedroom. This was a safe place, even if he didn't feel very safe right now. He could feel the cool metal of his ring on his right hand, though. Even if they had known his secret, they hadn't taken his miraculous away. Once he was settled and could start to think again, he'd at least have a way to fight the things he hadn't been able to fight before.

"Adrien?" a shaky voice inquired, Plagg's little black body floating up closer to the head of the bed, his face pinched with overwhelming concern. He didn't exactly look all that great either. Plagg looked tired if not a little run down.

Adrien gave him an equally shaky smile, his breathing finally coming under his control without concentrated effort. "Don't suppose you know what happened, do you?" he asked, feeling again at the gauze on his chest. 

Plagg's eyes followed, his gaze resting in the same place as Adrien's hand. "Oh, Adrien," he all but whimpered, drawing closer with a sigh. "I don't know what we're going to do. He... he had them put it inside."

"Did what? Who?" he asked, as another wave of pain radiated outwards from his chest. With breathing no longer a major concern, the wound under the gauze had moved up the list in questionable afflictions. He sat up in bed, feeling at the edges where the tape held the bandage secure.

"The akuma," Plagg explained, which made no sense at all in Adrien's mind. What akuma? What on earth was his kwami talking about? With shaky fingers, Adrien pulled the tape from the gauze bandage and peeled it back to see what it covered.

There had been an incision about three inches long now glued and stitched back together. The black threads poked at his fingertips as he ran them over the wound, the skin puffy with irritation but otherwise seeming to mask nothing underneath. What he couldn't detect didn't change the fact of the matter though. Someone had cut him open and sewn him shut again, with Plagg's vague words no longer carrying much mystery to them now. There was something inside of him; something that radiated pain with ebbs and flows that seemed as random as they were unkind.

So shocked was he that he didn't even hear the door as it swung open or the footsteps as they approached. It wasn't until a shadow fell over him that he even remembered the world existed outside his own body at that point in time. He supposed he must have expected Nathalie to be the only person who might walk in. To look up and see his father, however, was almost more surprising than it was to consider the condition he woke to find himself in. 

"Father," he all but gasped, not sure if he should be trying to explain or if the man already knew something about the wound. He didn't seem surprise to see him sitting in bed with stitches running over his breast. In fact, he almost seemed happy. The strange smile on his face wasn't nearly as kind of reassuring as one might suspect given the circumstances. 

Gabriel took a seat on the bed, his head cocking to the side slightly as he seemed to inspect the mysterious wound out of professional interest. "They said it shouldn't noticeably scar so long as you leave it well alone," he said, his voice continuing to carry an air of artful authority. "Imperfection is often a selling point for a model, though, so I'm sure you'll be just fine either way."

What the agencies were going to think about this was so far from Adrien's concerns that it hadn't even occurred to him to worry. He'd been cut open and he wasn't entirely sure he understood how or why. How was his father not more alarmed by this? Why did he seem so accepting of something so strange? "What's going on? What.. what is this?" he asked, expecting answers considering his father's calm and very eager to learn them by now.

His father smiled a bit more, pushing Adrien to recline against his pillow and rest. "This is how you trap a Ladybug," he explained. "Not with city-wide carnage or silly adversaries, but with a calculated strike against her entire safety net."

The room seemed to grow cold with those words, their meaning illusive but hanging with an implied threat. "Ladybug? What does any of this have to do with her?"

Gabriel pulled up the blankets, all but tucking him in. "I know who you are, Cat Noir. Do you not recognize me?"

There was not a single thing in the past five minutes that made any bit of sense to Adrien. Not waking up wounded, not Plagg's fearful message, not his father's presence, and most certainly not his words. Of course he recognized his father. He didn't see him very often, especially not in person, but of course he still remembered his face. But that was nothing but his attempts at stalling his mind from moving forward, trying to keep away from the thoughts that were just out of sight, teasing around his peripherals, waiting like an ambush to strike him when he was least prepared. There was no way to be prepared, though, for the eventual realizations that were sure to pop into his head. Like the fact that his schedule had been clear that day until something came up. That someone had sent Nathalie to take him to that hospital. That Plagg had acknowledged the presence of an akuma inside him with only one known person in all the world possible to be behind such a thing. All the thoughts that said his father had to be in the know also said he had to be behind it. As though he were Hawk Moth himself. Which, though it made all the sense in the world, felt more like the world was tearing apart.

"It's about time we started working on this together rather than at opposite ends. Don't you think?" Gabriel asked, smoothing back Adrien's hair, continuing to show him more affection than combined over the last few years. 

Adrien swallowed the dry lump in his throat, finding breathing again becoming something that required concentration. "If you're really Hawk Moth, why didn't you take my miraculous when you had the chance?"

"Because far better than akumatizing Adrien is having control over Cat Noir," he explained, his large, dark eyes shining with intent. "Taking just your miraculous would mean little if Ladybug still had hers. This way, I can take both of yours at the same time."

"I'll never help you target Ladybug," Adrien promised, overwhelmed but still present enough in mind to know his loyalties remained unchanged.

Gabriel sighed, his face become closed off and distant, a far more common expression than the smile he'd worn before. "You're such a popular boy, Adrien, and yet you're so lonely. Your feelings of being cast aside and ignored made you a perfect target. But your little miraculous kept you safe from my akuma. Not this time, though. The object it inhabits has been secured behind your ribs. Uncomfortable, I'm sure, but necessary. We can't have Ladybug simply breaking it and ending this before it begins. No, she'll have to turn her miraculous over if she wants all this undone. And you will hand yours over to me as well."

He hated how sure he sounded almost as much as he hated the silence in his own mind that answered when asked what he could possibly do to stop him. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been used against his partner but in those instances he'd still felt hope. He only felt pain now, both physical and otherwise. No matter what he did, he still lived with the enemy. Unless one of them stopped living at all.

"If I'm the target of an akuma, why haven't I changed?" he asked, grasping at straws, hoping in some way there was a lie to be found that might afford him some extra ground to stand on.

Gabriel was smiling again though, his eyes drawn to the ring with a satisfied gleam in is eyes. "Your miraculous is holding my control back. It won't be able to forever, though. Eventually he'll have used up all his power, and then you will succumb to my forces instead."

He seemed so pleased to say it, to have the chance to gloat over his enemy and explain how futile everything but compliance was in the end. But they weren't enemies; Adrien and Gabriel Agreste should not have been at ends in this way. "I'm your _son_ ," he said in distress, another wave of pain rocking through him that he now knew to be the effects of having two supernatural forces acting at opposite sides inside him.

"And I'm very disappointed in you. You've been the ruin of so much of my hard work. This all could have been over long ago had you revealed your secret to me. This is important work, Adrien. I cannot stress that enough."

Adrien could almost feel his heart breaking. This was too much. Everything was just too much. As if things hadn't felt bad enough before, now he was being tortured by his own father and forced into slavery for his cause?

No. No, this was what Hawk Moth wanted. Adrien had been targeted by an akuma and giving in to the bad thoughts and feelings would only make his power over him stronger. He couldn't do that--not with Ladybug in danger as well. He had to not let it get to him. He had to help Plagg fight this and give them time to work something out.

"I will never let you get your hands on our miraculous," Adrien growled, his resolution firmly set on only that if nothing else for now.

"Then consider yourself grounded. We'll discuss this more once you've become... more agreeable," Gabriel proposed, then slowly rose from his seat on the bed and left, closing the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

The first he needed to do was not panic. His father was Hawk Moth, he had something hosting an akuma surgically implanted in his chest, his kwami was no doubt running low on energy which was going to get him akumatized, and he had no way of getting in contact with Ladybug to inform her of the many troubling incidents of the day but panic would do nothing to improve any of that except to perhaps increase Hawk Moth's hold on him and hasten his decline even further. There was every imaginable reason to lose himself in each painful revelation but Cat Noir would not panic and so Adrien Agreste would not do so either. Ladybug was counting on him to hold it together. Paris was counting on him in actual fact but it was so much easier to limit his perspective just to her when the price of failure already felt too much to yet conceive.

If he became akumatized, Ladybug would be unable to stop him. Even if she somehow figured out where the akuma was, she wouldn't be able to get to it and break it without going far beyond the methods they normally used. And he'd still be able to become Cat Noir, approach her as a friend, betray her, potentially harm her all in the name of Hawk Moth. Cataclysm meant he could absolutely destroy everything in his wake, reverting to the powers of a normal super villain while waiting for Plagg to re-energize. He would be unstoppable, and her options would be so very limited. She wouldn't want to hurt him, and especially not do something drastic but necessary that might...

No time to panic. One thing at a time. 

He couldn't do anything about what was inside him for now. He needed to get his miraculous somewhere safe before challenging the akuma within him could even become an option. And the fact that Hawk Moth was his father, while information Ladybug would absolutely need to be given, was just as useless to him right now outside necessitating he get far away. He could let those problems slide and devote his energies to other things like escape and feeding Plagg. Keeping his energy up was vital if they were going to get any help from Ladybug and of all the problems currently facing them, getting the kwami food was by far the least daunting.

Gazing around his room, Adrien looked for some sign of the black specter, used to watching him lazing about in the sunlight or a high shelf but instead finding him floating anxiously at his side. He didn't like that Plagg seemed to stay so close to him right now. Nothing made Adrien feel more scared than the obvious concern of the black cat kwami. 

Things would have been so much easier if Plagg could simply find and speak to Ladybug's kwami for him. He wasn't entirely sure how their species or society functioned but they seemed to work alone in most cases, unaware of the others by secret sense or otherwise. Plagg certainly hadn't sensed Hawk Moth's kwami living in their own home. The only way Adrien knew to communicate with Ladybug was through his staff--something he only had access to when transformed. There was no other way to call her; there had never been a need to get her attention without it or reason to assume a situation would occur when he'd need her and she wouldn't already be there. With Plagg energies otherwise engaged, Adrien was reluctant to consider transformation as an option. But with no other system currently in place, what else was he to do?

"If I tried to transform right now, what would happen?" Adrien asked at last, trying to maintain calm in his voice despite the higher pitch that pain brought to it.

Plagg shook his head, bobbing slightly in the air. "I can't. I'm stretched thin as it is. I need food."

And he looked it. They had precious little time. "Don't worry about it," he said, sitting up in bed to a wave of nausea that made him still for a second and breathe through the discomfort before continuing to try to get up. "I couldn't get a hold of her that easily anyway. She'd have to be transformed too and there's no reason for her to be. I need to find a way to draw her out; get her attention."

"Adrien, you need to rest," Plagg warned, following beside him as Adrien pushed himself to his feet and stood shakily with one arm to steady him against the wall.

He shook his head slowly so as not to make himself more dizzy. "No. Resting gives him more time to plan and her less time to prepare."

"Adrien..."

Plagg's voice was small and uncharacteristically demure. Adrien fixed him with a soft smile, hoping it looked as reassuring as he meant it to be. "It's okay. I'm not going to let him get you," he promised, intentionally avoiding the obvious concern for himself the kwami was trying to get across. But as far as Adrien was concerned, there was no reason to worry about himself. What his father had done had left very few viable options available to him. As much as he was trying not to think too much about it, part of him already knew without any doubt what he was capable of doing to ensure Hawk Moth's defeat.

Whether he normally showed it or not, though, Plagg cared about Adrien. This wasn't any easier for him, especially not with Adrien's fate depending so much on the kwami right now. 

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Adrien let the smile fade, trading it in with something more genuine for now to assure his friend he understood exactly how complicated things were. "Okay. Let's just be blunt about this. I'm going to die. Probably at my own hands. I don't want what he did to force her to be my murderer so... let's work together to think about what we can do to make sure she knows everything that's happening and is able to take you from me after I do whatever it is that needs to be done." The hand that was not anchoring him to the wall had already steeled its way back over the bandage on his chest, finding it hard to ignore the pain while his mind was focused on the cause.

"I don't want to help you sacrifice yourself," Plagg said, circling close around him.

"But you will. Because it's that important." His breath wavered with the words, the weight of which felt like they might crush him beneath them as they crashed into the air. He could feel the sting of tears in his eyes and the tremble of his chin as fear became a wave the swept up over him with little regard for personal resolution. He was scared. He didn't want to die. And accepting the very real possibility that it was imminent and likely up to himself to perform was threatening the fragile dam holding back oceans of panic he'd promised himself he wouldn't let interfere. "Please, help me," he begged, the words barely more than a whisper.

Plagg nodded gently, saying nothing else on the matter, his solemn expression speaking well enough on its own. 

Using the wall, Adrien moved away from the bed, taking slow, steady steps once the wall ran short of the space now needed to reach the sofa. Pain was becoming much easier to ignore but the nausea offered up additional problems to their situation. It hardly registered that he was still dealing with the affects of anesthesia even though everything was related to the event in which it'd been used. His mind was focused, for now, on making their escape. The rest he could only hope would get better with time.

"We can't stay here," he said aloud, though he let their reasons remain best unsaid. "We'll need to sneak out. Get you something to eat. Find some kind of crime somewhere that may draw Ladybug out in the open."

Plagg floated in front of him, almost guiding him to grasp the back of the sofa as Adrien completed the last of his unaided steps. "You're not strong enough for all that. Getting out of here is going to be hard enough on you," he fairly criticized.

He'd escaped his home before, though. Plenty of times. Not generally as someone other than Cat Noir but Adrien still felt sure he could manage given the right amount of light. As for wandering around Paris looking for crime... "What if I pretended to rob a store?"

"Like this?" Plagg asked, gesturing. "They'd call your father before even considering to call the police. And Ladybug isn't going to show up to a robbery even if you did manage it."

He wasn't wrong, but he wasn't helping matters either. "Not a real robbery, obviously. I mean... what about Marinette from school? Her parents own a bakery. We could get you food and... I don't know, maybe her family might pretend to be being burglarized by a super villain if I say it's an emergency?" Adrien winced at how stupid it sounded even as his brain failed to consider anything better. As far as plans went, it wasn't entirely lacking in merit, though. "I know it sounds crazy but if we go there, at least we'll be someplace my father won't think to look and there's no shortage of things for you to eat." And besides, she had invited him over. He wouldn't be completely unwelcome even if he did show up like this.

Plagg hesitated but bobbed with consent. "It's a better plan than your other one. Do they have any Camembert at a bakery?"

The injection of normalcy into their conversation made Adrien smile, a short chuckle ripening in his chest. "You might have to settle for croissants this once. Sorry," he apologized. 

The kwami sighed but did not argue, maintaining vigilance rather than independence as he normally preferred. They would wait for darkness, filling their time with the mundane tasks of getting dressed and hunting down mints or other minor treats hidden in his desk's drawers for some emergency food supplies. It would take longer than he liked to admit, and it was borrowed time at best, but Adrien felt much less like a damsel in distress with every step he took towards finding Ladybug.


	5. Chapter 5

Marinette didn't mind watching the bakery for her parents. It was nice to help out; nice to know her parents were happy and had a chance to enjoy themselves once in a while. Besides which, it gave her an excellent excuse not to go out to one of those stuffy, social events that required only the best in desserts for their catering. Her parents liked to mingle and dance once the delivery was done but of the few occasions Marinette had happened to go along, she'd only found herself the youngest in the room by several years and spent most of her time refreshing the display. She was old enough now to be the mature, responsible daughter left to tend to the last few loaves and delights still left over from the morning's bake. Plenty of time for homework, plenty of time to relax, and all with the bonus good feelings of knowing her mother and father were free to dance the night away without worry or need to hurry back.

It wasn't as if Marinette had anywhere to be or anything else to do. She enjoyed sitting at the back counter, her sketch book open in front of her with graphite creations blooming forth from out of the white pages within. The lithe form she currently drew, with its slender silhouette and narrow proportions, was not so subtly meant to be Adrien with his arms extended gracefully in a rather antiquated pose. It went well with the suit she was designing for him, strong lines balancing out the curve of his face with varying lengths and tiers of layers updating the formal attire to something more unusual and striking for a modern man. She played with the idea of heels--nothing more than an inch but perhaps with a more pointed toe--to accentuate his legs which, upon referencing the advertisements she'd saved which featured him, were woefully under appreciated. She wasn't going to ague with a photographer's eye when it came to their focus on his beautiful face, but when it came to fashion she felt she had an educated understanding of what to do to make the living subject a breathing piece of art from perfect head to pointed toe.

She loved the idea of dressing him. Perhaps it was the little girl still inside her that lept on bed-springs and danced with pillows that enjoyed most the idea of playing dress-up with a life-size doll but Marinette liked to think her professional interest extended past such childish thoughts. Wouldn't it be the perfect match made in heaven, though? The fashion designer and the model; Pygmalion and Galatea. He'd said he liked her designs. And he liked the scarf she'd secretly given him. It made her hopeful that maybe, if she finalized something she felt sure of, it might cheer him up to see something designed with only him in mind. Even if no one ever made it and so nothing existed for him to wear, being able to see himself sketched out on paper might let him know, without being too obvious, that Marinette had been thinking about him.

And she had been. A lot. Sketching helped her channel those thoughts away from concern, letting him remain at the forefront without causing her face to crease with worry. Customers preferred a smiling face and she was still very much in public eye with the wide array of windows leaving her as a bright spot in the fading light of early evening. She could close shop if she wanted. There were still a few loaves left unpurchased but staying open much later wasn't a guarantee they'd be sold anyway. The only reason she hadn't bothered to put the sign up was that she'd be doing the same thing in her room that she was currently doing at the counter. Might as well give potential customers some time to come in and impress her parents with her diligence when they inquired on how everything had gone.

Despite the expectation someone might come in, the door to the bakery opening was still a mild surprise. Marinette looked up from her sketching, a smile already spreading on her face to greet the customer, then found herself faltering instantaneously, her hands juggling to snap her sketch book closed. Of all the people she wanted to see standing there, Adrien Agreste was certainly close to the top even though daily she accepted the disappointment of not seeing him much past their time at school. To find him standing there now, especially knowing in the back of her mind that no one else was home, was pinch-worthy fantasy at best. In fantasy, though, he didn't look like he was going to pass out if he took another step. Adrien looked awful to put it kindly and half-dead if being perfectly honest. He was pale and he was sweating--nothing at all like she was used to him being.

And she was staring. Faltering for moment, words jumbling their way out, Marinette moved around the counter slowly as she tried to observe him rather than gawk. "Adrien!" she finally managed, hands wringing nervously. "Uh... hi! What, um... are you okay?"

He leaned against one of the display tables, his own smile equally as shaky as her own. "Me? Yeah," he lied, his pallor almost green. He took a few steps closer, his eyes scanning the view outside the windows with the kind darting attention she was used to seeing in those scared or being pursued. "Hey. So... are your parents around?" he asked, coming closer oh so slowly with his hand almost white-knuckled in its grip on the displays.

Everything about this screamed danger to Marinette. Not that Adrien was danger but that he was _in_ danger. Her protective streak was out in full force, nervousness forgotten with her duty to perform. "I'm here by myself," she didn't mind telling him, knowing being alone was rarely a point of weakness with Tikki nearby. "Just helping out. Is everything okay? You look like you're going to collapse."

Adrien winced, one hand grabbing at his chest as he took another few steps forward. "I'll be fine. I just... I need to find Ladybug," he said, the words causing a small panic in the back of Marinette's mind. There was no way he knew--it was impossible that, of all people, her crush would figure out her secret. Or anyone for that matter. She was too careful, and borderline paranoid around Adrien when it came to even simple stuff. If he didn't know she liked him, he most certainly couldn't know she was Ladybug. But there he was, worrying her immensely with the way he was acting, asking to find her other identity strangely out of the blue.

Marinette tried not to show her surprise--at least not the level of surprise she felt. "Ladybug? Here?"

He nodded, biting his lip. "I know what I'm about to say sounds completely ridiculous but I swear, this is important. Could we maybe... I mean... would you help me?" he asked, staring at her with clouded green eyes. "I figure maybe if we make it seem like there's a super villain in your store, maybe she'll come? I don't mean we'd have to make a mess. I don't want... maybe this _was_ a bad idea." He looked away, pushing his hair back further from his face, the sweat on his palm making it stay.

Marinette upgraded the trouble rating from potential to immediate. Something wasn't simply wrong with Adrien today, something extreme was going on. Adrien wasn't the kind of boy to exaggerate or call undue attention to himself. With the police much easier to call and more relevant to normal issues in life, her imagination was wild with what he'd want with Ladybug. "I'll help in any way I can, but... why Ladybug?" she asked, offering him her hand, hoping to lead him somewhere to sit down as he obviously needed the rest.

His hand was cold against hers, his grip shaky and yet supporting most of his weight. She adjusted her stance to put am arm around him, leading him immediately towards the stairs. 

"How did you even get here?" she thought aloud, noticing she hadn't seen or heard a limo pull up, nor was any waiting for him outside.

"It's not important," he lied again, allowing her to guide him wherever she wished. "What _is_ important is that I speak to Ladybug. I promise you, she needs to talk to me right now as much as I need to talk to her. I just... I don't know _how_."

It was his lucky day, then. Or, given the way he looked, at least a lucky spot in an otherwise unlucky day. The trick was going to be making this work without giving herself away. But even that was something Marinette was rather confident in. She just needed to get him upstairs. "I've got an idea," she told him, guiding his other hand to the stair railing. 

He took a deep breath but nodded, jaw clenched, looking over his shoulder at the empty bakery until his attention became required in their ascent.

It was slow going but they made it up to her room without issue or much in the way of questioning. He all but fell against the chaise lounge, utterly exhausted by the end of their climb. Marinette left him to his pride for a moment, rushing instead to her desk to hide a few of the more obvious pictures and obsessive trinkets while putting her plan into action as well. She had all the supplies she needed, and with the stars all out in the night, it was also the perfect time to enact it. A snip here, a snip there, it didn't matter the color so much as the shape. She was actually rather good at drawing both stylized and standard ladybugs. In as much time as it took Adrien to begin to question what she was doing, Marinette had a finished prototype ready for immediate display.

She held it out for him to see, the outline simple but distinctive, as she walked towards the windows taking a few pieces of tape as she went. "You ever see those super hero movies where they shine a signal into the sky to summon the hero?" she asked, knowing just about everyone had but wanting him to understand her thought process as more than just a convenient excuse. With a few taped corners and a conveniently replaced lamp, the sky outside shown a very feint projection of the insect's silhouette. Not that Adrien could tell from the chaise lounge. From his vantage point, all he could really see was the brightly lit piece of cloth taped up on the window, his imagination hopefully making for a much more impressive display above. "Voilà. The Ladybug Signal," she proudly announced, giving him an encouraging smile.

It was hard to smile, though, when Adrien looked so poorly. On his own face, at least, the expression was real. He looked relieved and infinity grateful, his whole body sinking into the cushions limply. "You're incredible, Marinette," he praised. "That's... genius."

Normally her stomach would have done back flips in jovial excitement. Right now, Marinette didn't have an ear for his appreciation, though. Right now, only Adrien really mattered. She walked over to him, keeping her hands to herself even as she entertained thoughts of feeling his face for fever or brushing back his hair. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, knowing anything other than admission of the pain registering in his face would only be another lie.

At this point, he seemed to acknowledge that too. "... I could go for some pain killers if you have any on hand," he said, his smile tight as it admitted to previous attempts at useless bravado.

Marinette nodded, just glad he trusted her with as much. "Sure thing. I'll bring you up some water too," she said, hurrying towards the stairs again to get their real encounter rolling.

"Thank you, Marinette," he called, then added in a hurry, "Oh! I'm sorry to keep asking you for things... but, um, could you maybe bring some food too?"

She nodded, thinking of the bread still left for sale and the perfect recipient for something mild and soft. "Certainly. I'll... I'll be right back," she promised, hardly pausing in her rush to leave his line of sight and hearing. 

Back in the bakery, she quickly closed shop, making sure the sign was turned and the door locked but leaving the register to deal with later. She didn't expect her parents to be coming home for another few hours but that didn't mean time wasn't of the essence. After all, she had a boy in her room. She had the physical manifestation of the boy she talked about and had pictures of in her room while home alone. There was absolutely no way her parents could come home while he was still there and no way to get him to leave in the state he was in. In that way, they both needed Ladybug right now. And just as soon as the storefront was taken care of, she'd be ready to see to whatever problem her friend had for her hero self.

With the lights turned out, Tikki was already floating anxiously at the top of the stairs on the second floor. "He shouldn't be here; he should be at home or with a doctor," she said, her opinion not entirely different from Marinette's own. 

"He's looking for Ladybug, though. I don't think he's going to go anywhere until he finds her," she replied, making sure to set aside one of the day's loafs on a plate before drifting off to the kitchen for a glass.

It took a few minutes to get a tray together but she returned as quickly as she could, knocking gently at the floor to let him know she was coming up. He seemed almost asleep as she saw him laying there. His eyes were closed, at least, and his chest moved in even breaths. Quietly she set the tray down on the corner of her desk, not wanting to disturb him any further as Marinette. When he woke up, Ladybug could show him the tray of things she'd brought up for him. And with that thought, she hurried away to transform and return via the roof instead.

On the roof, her red and black suit hiding her true identity, Ladybug made sure to not mask her steps as she usually did, letting them be heard and announce her presence as she avoided stealth in her awaited entrance. Adrien was still asleep, though. She took a moment to address the 'Ladybug Signal', taking it down to at the very least not announce her presence any further, or else seem foolish to anyone on the street. It had served its purpose as a ruse and with that it's job was done.

"I take it this was meant for me?" she said aloud, hoping her voice might at last wake the boy on the chaise lounge who had so quickly passed out despite his desperation. She walked closer, no longer hesitating to let her hand caress his face as she knelt down beside him, feeling the clamminess of his skin through the scales of her fingertips.

Adrien's eyes batted open, his long eyelashes fluttering out of the way. He looked confused for only a moment, questioning the reality of her arrival in the squinted lines around his eyes. She was really there, though, and as it sunk in so did an expression of sadness she had not been prepared to see, paired uniquely with a pinched smile. "It's you," he said, attempting to sit up.

"You were expecting someone else?" she asked, trying humor to project calm. She couldn't let her personal feelings for him keep her from doing what Ladybug needed to do. He was just another civilian, after all. She could care, but she should not appear overly concerned. "What's this all about?" she asked, wanting very much to let the mystery of the moment die. 

"Ladybug... I..." he paused, his eyes darting towards the trap door to the bedroom stairs. He bit his bottom lip, shaking his head gently as he directed her attention to it as well. "Marinette... this is her home. She might come in. She... she shouldn't hear this," he said, his request unspoken but understood.

Oh, but it would be so much easier to not have to pretend. Ladybug nodded, doing her best not to sigh. "If it's that important, I'll go ahead and let her know I'm here and to give us some time alone."

Adrien nodded, no longer slouched back in the seat, as Ladybug forced herself to walk away and carry out her pantomime. Back down the stairs she went, calling out to no one there and having Marinette reply to no one either. She kept her voice low so either side of the conversation would be little more than hums of random chatter, making up a story as she went as to Marinette's preoccupation with continuing to work at the counter of the store. When it felt enough time had passed for a quick but meaningful chat to believably transpire, she rounded the steps once again, hoping it would be the last for a while, and returned once more to her room. She stopped at the top steps, though; every slight annoyance with the proceedings fading aside to nothingness as her eyes locked on Adrien again. 

He'd taken his shirt off, the discarded clothing laying as a black lump on the floor. On his chest was a large pad of white gauze--previously white, anyway. A great deal of it was red with blood--not speckled but nearly soaking through. She felt like an idiot for not noticing, especially when he'd grasped at his chest in the bakery before.

"What happened?" she asked, shutting the door, considering an ambulance over whatever else was requested.

"Hawk Moth happened," he said, his words almost more surprising than his wounded state as he struggled to rise to his feet. 

Ladybug grabbed his shoulders to keep him still, following his line of sight to the tray waiting with water, bread and pills on the desk. Without question asked, she collected the glass and pills for him instead, bringing it back with her own insistence putting them into his hands.

He smiled again though the sadness in his eyes corrupted it completely. "Thank you, my Lady," he whispered with words that felt strange and brought an uncomfortable tightness to Ladybug's own chest as she watched him swallow the pills. He handed back the glass of water with a faraway stare, looking at nothing as his shoulders sank on a heavy exhale. "It's okay, Plagg. Go help yourself. It's not like we can't trust her."

If the words didn't make sense, the sudden appearance of a floating, black version of Tikki was all the more confusing. For a second, she second guessed her appearance, looking down at her own spotted hand as she put the glass of water down to see that she was still, indeed, transformed. Her eyes then locked on the kwami--and it was definitely a kwami--to see it lacked Tikki's distinctive style and instead had small, cat-like features like pointed ears, tail and whiskers. Like a little black cat whereas Tikki resembled a ladybug. She watched it quickly source out the bread left on the tray and dive in like a thing half-starved. She knew what it was and with that, she knew whose it was. And still, somehow, it just didn't make any sense.

She slowly turned her attention back towards Adrien, finding him sitting with his head bowed, his whole body curling in on itself. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm... I'm so sorry, Ladybug. I know you didn't want to know and I wanted to respect that and I'm... I'm sorry that there's no other way right now. I'm really sorry..." From the way his hands closed around his face and the short, wet-sounding inhalations, she knew that he was crying. But even that didn't make any sense. 

Why was a wounded Adrien talking about Hawk Moth, looking for Ladybug, and traveling with Cat Noir's kwami? The only real explanation was that Adrien was Cat Noir but that was absolutely absurd. It was impossible. Adrien was perfect and wonderful and amazing. Cat Noir was... a lot of those things some of the time but also annoying and impossible to deal with when he wasn't. They just couldn't be the same person. There was no way they could be one and the same. 

But... there was also no way any of it made sense if he wasn't Cat Noir. He even knew the way she felt about having their identities revealed. And it was a misery to him to go against that now which was, at it's heart, very much like both of the men she knew.

"You're... Cat Noir?" she forced herself to ask, requiring more than just less-than-subtle hints to solidify the truth.

Adrien breathed out a self-deprecating laugh as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Not nearly as cool in real life, huh? Sorry," he said, breathing deep and sitting back so as to longer be hiding his face. 

She felt she understood the sadness in his smile now, though his resignation still remained a mystery. She couldn't disagree more with his opinion of himself, though. Adrien was by far the better man but Ladybug didn't know him, only Marinette did. So with that, she had no way assuage his guilt in being a disappointment. She was disappointed, but not in that respect. It was just... a lot to take in.

"I have so much to tell you and I don't even know where to begin anymore," Adrien lamented, his hand against his chest again though it did little to mask the presence of blood.

Ladybug bit at the inside of her mouth, chastising herself for getting distracted by details of identity in the larger picture of his plight. "You mentioned Hawk Moth. Was he the one who hurt you? Did he find out who you are?" she asked, following on quick deductions from the state of himself and his kwami as well.

Adrien nodded. "Yeah. But I found out who he is too. And where he lives. In fact, I could pretty much tell you anything you want to know about him," he said, not sounding in the least bit proud but rather hollow instead. "As it happens, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste. Which means Hawk Moth is my father."

The fact that he felt the need to spell it out was at least comforting in knowing he still suspected she might not know him. But above that it was devastating, and harder still to maintain that professional line.

"Your father did that?" she whispered, finding her voice gone as emotion choked her within. 

Nodding slowly, Adrien began to pull the gauze away from his skin, the tape soiled enough to give easily. Underneath was still coated in blood, some of it fresh while clumps of darker red scabs followed the path along his the muscle of his breast. There were stitches, some of which had torn away and seemed to be the main cause of the blood seeping out from his skin. It looked inflamed and irritated, and she immediately felt guilty for wanting to yell at him for his stupidity. He was hurt, but what was he supposed to do? Stay home with their enemy? She couldn't fault him his retreat even if she hated that it made this so.

"It's worse than it looks," a strange voice called from behind her, the kwami still stuffing his face having more than enough time to put in his own two cents on the matter. "That monster sealed an akuma inside him. Adrien would be another one of his lackeys if I weren't holding his influence back."

Adrien winced, though this time it did not seem to be out of physical pain. Ladybug herself was for a moment unable to think past the part where this was all happening at all. She had more questions than answers, a great deal of them mostly rhetorical in regards to the kind of father who would do such horrible things. As much as it didn't make sense, it didn't appear to be a lie. The bleeding stitches weren't treatment for a combat wound, they were the lock to a cage which held within it a ticking time bomb.

"An akuma?" she repeated, trying for clarification. All of the villains they'd faced had had a reason Hawk Moth chose them. She couldn't imagine what would turn his eyes towards Adrien.

He knew, though. She could tell he knew. He wore shame with the same acceptance as he did sadness. "I was feeling sorry for myself," he explained simply, shrugging softly though it pulled on his skin. "Ended up a target. It's how he found me. Sorry. All of this is my fault. I'm a walking cat-astrophe," he said with a smile, his lips not at all in agreement with his eyes.

She hated that smile. She'd hated that smile all day. And for once, there was nothing stopping her from doing what she'd wanted to about it all along. 

With both arms extended, she drew him to her, cradling his head to her shoulder as she held him close to her chest. Even if it still felt like too much to comprehend, this was her Cat Noir. This was the person she depended on in battle and the person she shared this part of her life with. She cared about him, even if it was different from the way she cared about Adrien. So she could hold them both for now, as strange as it seemed, and hope to ease the pain and worry if only for a moment. Because they were the same person, and that person was in trouble. And that person trusted her to be there. 

Adrien melted into her, clinging to her, his chest shuddering in such a way that she knew that he was crying again. She wanted him to. She was tired of the mask he tried to wear, especially now knowing what she knew about the things going on. It was important that they be honest with each other--perhaps more now than ever. Because she needed to know who this person really was if things were ever going to sit right in her head. "It's okay," she whispered, feeling his face roll against her as he shook his head.

"You won't be able to stop me once he has control."

"Then he won't get control. Your kwami seems to be able to keep you safe," she said, doing her best to try and comfort him and give him a sense of perspective.

He continued to shake his head, though, pulling away slowly as he did. "I can't transform. I can't become Cat Noir and help you. I can't even be Adrien; he'll think of a way to use me against you if he finds me or take my miraculous from me if this fails," he explained, the words spoken quickly and with a sense of rising panic behind them as even Ladybug began to see just how complicated his situation had become.

"It's okay, Adrien," she said, finding it hard to call the scared young man by any other name. "I promise you everything is going to be okay."

He took a deep breath, dissent marked across his features, as he took her hands in his and held them tightly in his grasp. "You have to take my miraculous," he demanded.

Ladybug blinked in confusion. That made absolutely no sense. "But--"

"Not yet. But after. I just... I can't do it here. I can't do that to Marinette," he stammered, his eyes steeling away to glance at the door to the room even as Ladybug's own eyes grew wider with comprehension. Surely he didn't mean to suggest that he would... but that was exactly what he was saying. 

"Don't talk like that," she said, her own hands griping his tightly with every bit as much insistence as he held of fear.

Again he shook his head, but his attention was all hers once more. "I need to try and get it out," he explained. "But it's behind my ribs. So this isn't exactly going to be safe or... or maybe even survivable since I have no idea what I'm doing. And that's why you have to make sure my ring is taken somewhere safe. Maybe even get yourself a new Cat Noir to take Hawk Moth down."

"Shut up. Just... stop talking," she ordered, feeling the threat of her own emotions rising to the surface. Logically she could see the reasoning behind his thinking but in all other, visceral ways there was simply no accepting the risk he seemed set on taking. "There's only one Cat Noir I want by my side. We're partners, yeah? So stop talking like you've already lost. I'm always here to help you."

Adrien nodded slowly, though his eyes continued to disagree. As though aware she could easily read him, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back, the excitement seeming to have worn him out with pain set to accompany him to restlessness. She let her fingers press his hair from his face, stroking his scalp gently to sooth him towards repose.

"You've had a rough day," she said, excusing every fault with one sweeping gesture. "You rest. I'll speak to the shop owners and see that they take you in for the night. You'll be safe here."

He breathed in deep but did not argue, his head nuzzling gently into the palm of her repeated caress.


	6. Chapter 6

Speaking to the 'shop owners' was the last thing Ladybug wanted to do. As it stood, she was glad neither of her parents were home yet, buying her some small amount of time to try and figure out what she was going to do next. The truth was out of the question but there was no ready lie which excused Adrien staying over for the night or Marinette being strangely absent either. Concerned parents always wanted to know where their children were, and she could only too easily see her father taking issue with Ladybug being vague about the location of his daughter or her mother calling the Agreste estate to let them know Adrien was safe with them. It stood to reason she'd simply have to hide his presence entirely, though even that presented difficulties as well. 

At least he was asleep. It gave Ladybug time to transform back into Marinette and finish closing the shop below in proper fashion. She left a note where she was sure her parents see it, welcoming them home and letting them know she was in bed and would talk to them in the morning. Hopefully it would keep them out of her room until she had the ability to properly address things. Other than that, she just needed to make sure there was nothing outside her room she might need in the night. Another trip to the medicine cabinet was all she required before returning upstairs as Ladybug once more.

Curled up still against her pink chaise lounge, a thin blanket thrown over his half-naked body, Adrien continued to sleep in perhaps the most obvious and visible place in her room. He most certainly couldn't stay there if she had any real hope of hiding him but he'd been through so much she couldn't comprehend forcing him to move or implying in any way he wasn't wanted. It seemed unimaginable to her that someone as perfect as Adrien would ever have a reason to feel sorry for himself, but he had been targeted, he'd said, because of those feelings. So it was important that she do her best to make sure those feelings were put to rest. It might be the only way she had to release the akuma after all.

The villains they faced were always overcome by their emotions, unable to reflect with proper perspective, the akuma forcing them into obsession and often revenge. Releasing the akuma let the real person confront reality and broke Hawk Moth's hold on their mental faculties. It stood to reason, in some ways, that it might work in reverse if the would-be-villain had the opportunity to gauge facts without evil intervention. It stood to reason, that was, until those facts were actually laid out. Even Ladybug had a hard time rationalizing why Adrien shouldn't feel hurt and betrayed by the actions of his own father against him. It was hard for even herself to hear that her idol, a man she looked up to as a designer and respected greatly, was behind the turmoil facing Paris all this time. She'd only very briefly ever met the man but still that false sense of knowing that came with celebrity made even her feel both anger and confusion. She couldn't imagine what it felt like to be Adrien right now. Or what it was like to be him at all. Did he come from a happy home or was the disappointment she'd seen on a few occasions closer to normal when it came to his life with his dad? When he wasn't at school or being Cat Noir, did he have many reasons to smile without a camera in his face? It was hard enough to comprehend him and Cat Noir being one in the same, but now that she knew he was both, she felt like she didn't know either.

"You wouldn't happen to have any Camembert in there, would you?" his kwami asked as she put a tub of medical supplies down on the top of the desk. There was medicine, gauze, tape, and many other less useful things inside but there was definitely not any hint of cheese within her first-aid bounty.

"I don't think I can find Camembert at this hour, but if you're still hungry, I can check with the girl downstairs and see about getting something more for you to eat." Even as she said it though, she could not help but notice there was still half a loaf of bread left on his plate. Not lack of food, then; simply preference. She understood that--Tikki did love her cookies above all other things. Ladybug had never met another kwami before but, as with people, they seemed similar enough in their own respects with individual likes and dislikes to color them with personality.

The black cat kwami shook his head, looking disappointed but his attention returning quickly to Adrien. "I suppose even Camembert wouldn't be enough to fix this."

"You can keep him from turning evil, though, right?" she asked, posing the words less as a question and more to acknowledge his hard work as she rooted through the plastic tub for old prescriptions she felt she remembered being there left over from her father's hospital stay the year before.

There was a sigh and a plop as the kwami sat down on the desk beside her. "I'm losing," he lamented, his tiny tail swishing behind him like an agitated cat's. "Eventually I'll need to rest, and then..." his little voice trailed off into nothing, words left unsaid.

They didn't need to be said. If Adrien became a villain, there was nothing she could do to bring him back save for taking down Hawk Moth single handed with Adrien in some way made indisposed. Just finding a way to keep Adrien from interfering would be hard enough. To actually try and stop Hawk Moth by herself... she didn't know enough about him to understand what that even meant. Was he the sort of mastermind one had to go ahead and kill? She didn't have those kinds of powers. Or the resolution to end someone else's life. She wasn't ready for that fight and she didn't want to do it on her own. She needed Cat Noir. The trouble was finding a way to keep him on her side. 

She almost had to hand it to Hawk Moth. He'd certainly managed to put her in a difficult situation. It would have been so easy for him to simply have taken Adrien's miraculous if that was all he really wanted. Everything that was happening now, everything that was causing Adrien pain, was because Hawk Moth wanted Ladybug's miraculous most of all. He was trying to force her hand, and even knowing that, she couldn't do anything but agree on some level that this had gone too far and far too much was at stake to warrant much resistance from them. The easiest thing to do would be to hand their miraculous over with the condition of getting Adrien the medical intervention he needed. Anything else risked his life, and in some scenarios risked her and her family's too. But to do that... to let Hawk Moth win... was an unspoken threat worse than an unnecessary risk?

"You look troubled, My Lady."

Ladybug looked up from her mindless rooting through the supplies at the sound of Adrien's voice. She frowned, knowing it had only been an hour at best since the young man had closed his eyes. "You should be asleep," she told him, wondering if perhaps ignoring him was the better course of action if she expected him to follow her advice.

"Falling asleep isn't easy," he said, his face staring off at the ceiling above. "And staying asleep's not much better."

She didn't doubt that, especially given the rather minimal dosage of pain relievers she'd given him on request. Finding the old but probably still okay oxycodone was going to make things much better, and so she continued to pull and read the labels of bottles in her medical tub while placating him with each concerned reply. "You won't regain your strength if you don't at least try," she warned, though expectations were she'd give him something to help him off to sleep.

"I don't need strength right now. I found everything I need when I found you."

That, coming from Adrien, was almost enough to cause a full body blush. Ladybug scowled, making sure she was facing away, reminding herself this was just more of Cat Noir's ridiculous flirtation no matter what he looked like right now. "Are you this much of a flirt in your real life too?" she asked, though she hoped she already knew the answer.

Adrien seemed to sigh, his movements subtle but visible in the reflection of her darkened computer screen. "I thought I was being charming," he said, sounding almost hurt she hadn't been more flattered. 

"A little," she admitted, not wanting to hurt his feelings unduly. Flattery and machismo were not traits she admired in men. She could maybe excuse a little bit from Adrien who was, by all accounts, generally nothing but humble and sweet, but when it came to Cat Noir tolerance was in short supply. The hero always seemed to be bragging or telling jokes. It was still very hard to see them as one and the same, but alone he seemed more like his masked self despite wearing the face she recognized from her dreams.

Finding at last the bottle of pills she'd hoped to uncover, Ladybug turned back to her friend with what the bottle said was a good dosage. It prescribed food in tandem so she tore off some off the remaining loaf before walking back with medicine in hand for Adrien to swallow and eat. He sat up slowly, following her silent demands as he made short work of everything she brought, drinking even the water down to the last drop. When their hands touched, he didn't pull away but almost seemed to make sure their skin lingered through the connection of each, brief contact. He'd never been shy to express how much she meant to him, yet now more than ever she could feel that basic connection that said the two of them were destined to work together in this life.

"You come on pretty strong, you know," she whispered, trying to keep her racing heart in check.

Adrien smiled, looking nothing like himself. "Guess I'm not very good at being in love."

At being in love with precisely the wrong girl. Ladybug wasn't sure if her heart was about to burst or to break. She wanted Adrien's love but she wanted it as Marinette. She wanted him to be a part of her normal life, to be a boyfriend and future husband that everyone could know about. Ladybug didn't have that kind of life. Ladybug didn't have friends or a family; she had her duty to Paris and that was all. She had Cat Noir's companionship and apparently she had Adrien's love. Marinette couldn't compete with Ladybug in something like this. Like Adrien, she and her masked persona weren't the same.

"You don't love me," she told him, hoping the words were less harsh than they felt in her throat. "You don't even know who I am."

"You're brave, you're kind, you're confident, you're wise. You're amazing. I know you. I don't need to know your real name or your face to know who you are at your heart," he listed, speaking with a lack of inhibition that in itself was worrying. "A bit of a short fuse, maybe," he continued, "And perhaps sort of abrasive. But you're perfect even then," he concluded teasingly, his face parting with a crooked smile.

" _I'm_ abrasive?"

"Only in the best way, of course," he clarified, his demeanor still trying for jovial.

Trying to lighten the mood. Trying to make things seem less ominous and serious. Ladybug sighed, once again chastising herself for taking the fool so seriously. This was one of the many reasons she needed him, though. If she was being bratty, he called her on it. If she was cold, he was there to liven things up. It might have been irritating, but he was doing it for the best possible reasons. In that way, it was hard to be annoyed.

She pulled up a desk chair to the side of the chaise lounge, taking a seat at his side as she let her contemplative mood wash away for a moment. "I'm not those things. Not all the time," she said. "But I guess we both know what that's like. Behaving differently behind the masks."

"Being free to be ourselves, you mean," Adrien suggested, leaning his head back once more to stare up at the ceiling.

Ladybug shook her head, not meaning that at all. "I don't think of myself like that. You make it sound like being regular Adrien is a burden."

"It's... fine," he said, his face squishing in a noncommittal gesture. "Not really a fan of that life at this moment but even before this I much preferred being Cat Noir."

"Aren't you a model?" Ladybug couldn't help but ask. "Aren't you kind of famous for being beautiful and have people fawning over you all the time?"

Adrien shrugged, rubbing gently at his chest. "I guess. I didn't do anything, though. It was my father's decision that I get into modeling and I didn't choose my looks. It's so.. superficial, you know? What does it even matter? But Cat Noir? He saves people. _I_ do things that help the entire city in a real, meaningful way. When I'm him, I get to actually be someone amazing that earns everything he's given. And maybe I'm not as good as you, but I'm as good as I can be. And that's enough to help, and enough to make a difference. Who wouldn't prefer Cat Noir?"

Ladybug felt dumb in both understandings of the word. Her tongue didn't work and her mind was at a stand still. The knowledge she'd wanted to comprehend how Adrien and Cat Noir could be one and the same person was still ringing in her ears, setting off alarms that made her feel blind as well. How her partner could be the biggest braggart in town and yet stayed out of the limelight when news crews arrived to congratulate Ladybug for saving the day. How he never complained about the attention she received and played sidekick without conflict with his ego. He had all the celebrity he'd never wanted in his normal life. All he wanted, in this one reality, was for her to acknowledge him at her side.

She wished she had more often now. She'd never thought of his demeanor as compensating. "Isn't there anything you like about being your normal self?" she found herself asking, wishing the boy she loved was one that loved himself as well. There was so much good in Adrien for him not to see it too.

He seemed to think for a minute, though, his answer not forthcoming. "I've got some really great friends," he said at last, his eyes bright with the fondness of those thoughts. He turned his head slowly, those same eyes searching through hers. "What about you?"

Her? Ladybug wasn't entirely sure she liked that particular line of questioning. Her identity was still a secret, after all. And she aimed to keep it that way. But, in honor of their partnership, perhaps a little disclosure was okay. "I like living both lives. I love the responsibility of being Ladybug and always feeling in control of things, no matter how outrageous. But I like being a normal girl too, and getting to enjoy the normal, mundane things," she explained, letting him know in some ways at least they were not so dissimilar.

"Do you have a nice family?"

She nodded slowly, still wary of giving away too much. "Yeah. My parents are the best."

"I'm glad," he said, his smile growing sadder as he listened though he seemed genuine in his reply. "I really should have asked Plagg if there was some kind of prerequisite bad luck to being Cat Noir," he added, his fingers edging against the scabs on his chest.

"I doubt it would have mattered. You'd have chosen this anyway."

He chuckled softly, seemingly pleased she understood. 

And for once, she felt she did. Gone was the dichotomy of who was the real Adrien and who was Cat Noir. She was sad to admit that most differences were born of her own perception, choosing to see Cat Noir as egotistical for the same acts of lighthearted jest and chivalry that, when Adrien did them, made her swoon. He was still everything she'd ever liked about him, just less somber in his tone. More like a boy their age should be, without the worries of adult life. As though Adrien was a mask that Cat Noir wore rather than the other way around. And it all lead back to his father, to Hawk Moth, who was destroying more than just a secret identity in trying to take his miraculous away.

"My bad luck's not over yet," Adrien interjected into their shared silence. "So long as this thing's inside me, I'm a threat to you and everyone else. You know there's only one thing we can do. And it has to be now, while I'm still me. If we wait until he has control over me, it'll be too late."

The time for reflection was definitely over with that, though she couldn't feel more strongly against what he had in mind. "We can't take it out ourselves. You need a doctor to do it," she warned, wanting him very much to see reason even where she too saw little in other options.

"If we go to a hospital, they'll call my father. We'd be delivering me right back into his hands."

"And if I did something wrong, I could kill you," she pointed out.

Adrien shook his head, looking determined despite her concerns. "You won't. I'll do this myself. I just need you to stay close to take care of Plagg if anything goes wrong."

"If I let you do this on your own, something _will_ go wrong. I'm not just going to stand by and watch."

Adrien paused, his lips pulled thin in contemplation, before he turned his head to glance past her at the long desk against the wall. He raised his hand, pointing. "Marinette's a designer; she probably cuts things out of magazines all the time. I bet you can find an X-Acto knife among her desk supplies. It looks kind of like a scalpel. It'll work just as well as one for this."

She tried not to be pleased he remembered her aspirations, or flattered he would call her a designer. And yes, she did own an X-Acto knife but, embarrassingly, it was used most often to cut him out of crowded ads rather than styles for collective inspiration. Never in a million years did she think the tool of her obsession would be used in this way, though. They had to have other options that didn't require life-size cut outs. "This is crazy. We can't seriously be planning to do this," she said aloud, standing from her chair but not willing to move to collect the blade. It just didn't seem like the sort of conversation one conducted peacefully in their seat.

"You have a better idea?" he asked, without any signs of expectation.

She didn't. But they needed one. If not, time was sure to limit even their slimmest of alternatives. 

Ladybug paced the room, trying to think, unused to these kinds of situations. With normal akuma, her Lucky Charm gave her a hint towards what was needed. This wasn't like that, though; this wasn't a normal akuma possession.

But maybe it wasn't so different after all. "There's only one way to defeat an akuma," she proposed, taking her yoyo from her hip as she stood aside above the trap door. With a swing into the air, she proclaimed, "Lucky Charm!" and waited to see what destiny proposed.

In an instant it fell from the sky into her hand, a little metal block that fit simply in her palm, its red and black coloring making it look almost like candy. It was surprisingly heavy, though at a glance she couldn't tell what it was supposed to be. Just a metal block the size of a caramel, really. And she had no idea what it was supposed to mean. She tossed it, let it flip in the air, trying to discover its secret usefulness as she observed it from all sides. At least is wasn't a scalpel, she thought. At least it wasn't a sign they should move forward with Adrien's plan. Just a useless piece of metal, she predicted, until realization drained the color from her face. 

Not a scalpel, no, but a magnet perhaps. She held it up to the metal railing of her loft stairs and watched as it clung there with a clang.

"... How much do you want to bet the thing inside me is made of metal?" Adrien asked, breaking the silence of the revelation as Ladybug slowly pulled the magnet back with shaking hand. He was already on the move, gritting his teeth as he pulled himself towards the edge of the chaise lounge. "You've got less than five minutes to get this thing out of me," he proclaimed, sounding about as calm as Ladybug herself felt.

It was a magnet. Her lucky charm, her key to beating this, was a magnet. "Oh, god," she muttered, her body moving mechanically towards her art supplies where the knife was stored in its plastic sheath. "Oh, my god," she repeated, snapping the plastic cage off, seeing the red and black design of her suit in the reflection of the small blade. Less than five minutes. The magnet and her disguise would disappear in less than five minutes. It wasn't much time to get the item out but more than enough to kill a young man. There wasn't time to be scared or to think--only to do. Less than five minutes and counting down with every second she hesitated.


	7. Chapter 7

Ladybug hated how slow everything felt. Time was ticking away and yet every step she took towards the chaise lounge took an eternity, every breath she held lasting through the end of time. It felt as though she'd never get to his side before her transformation ended, outing herself and prolonging the suspense of what even fate seemed to ask her to do. She could feel each second pass like a heartbeat in her head, a throbbing echo of misplaced sensation taking her attention away from her racing heart. She was going to cut him open. She was going to slice through his stitches and mending flesh with a tool usually used to slice him from the page, spilling blood and illiciting pain she didn't know how to avoid.

And he was _moving_ \--that wasn't going to help! Why on earth wasn't he just lying back? "What are you doing?" she asked, finding time sped up when she emitted sound, her feet taking her closer in the blink of an eye.

Adrien winced as he began to stand, one feverish green eye squinting closed. "I'm getting on the floor; I don't want to stain Marinette's things."

"Why are you worried about something stupid like that!?" she almost screamed, or perhaps _did_ scream given he way his face quickly turned in her direction. She was there and time was no longer slow--it was fast; incredibly fast. She put a hand to his shoulders and pushed him back to recline, finding him obedient but obviously startled as he fell flat against the cushion. "If she knew what I was going to do to you, do you think she'd care for even one second past preferring this to you laying on the hard floor?"

He stared at her for a moment--maybe minutes? Time was weird--his face slipping from startled surprise to quiet determination. His hands wrapped around hers, the one tightly holding on to the small blade now embraced by his cold, clammy fingers. "Don't panic. It's okay," he said.

Ladybug swallowed hard, pushing back the emotions that threatened to strangle her and hold her back in crippling fear. There wasn't time for that--time, time, what was time? She heard the beep of a spot disappearing from her earring. Time was getting away from her. There simply wasn't enough time.

She used the magnet first, hovering it over his breast, trying to see if it reacted to anything at all. Knowing where it was before cutting into him was as close to prepared as she could be. And the reaction was immediate. A pain-filled grunt ripped through Adrien's throat as his body flinched, trying to close in around itself and protect against her workings. The magnet pulled hard towards his skin, and she could only imagine that inside, the pull was mirrored towards her hand. It was there, then; not more than an inch in past the incisions. No tools would be needed save those in her hands. Perhaps this would be easier than her first fears promised it would be.

"I'm going to--"

"I know," he said through gritted teeth,looking away either for his own peace of mind or hers. 

The handle of her X-Acto blade was cold against her palm in contrast to the warmth of his chest under the palm of her other hand. Fear of losing the magnet helped her move past the fear of making the first cut. She sawed through the stitches, not wanting to pull too hard at the broken and inflamed skin around the original incision. His muscles flexed hard, the tendons in his neck straining, as even his breathing hitched and shuddered through the pain that was only just starting.

And then there was blood. Past the stitches, she carved in through his flesh towards the point where the magnet had pointed. Blood seeped, filling the cavern of the incision then spilling out over his skin in a warm pool of deep red. He wasn't quiet but he tried. The screams were kept tight behind clenched teeth but they felt just as loud through the shuddering of his body. All she could do was make it quick. What she'd given him before to help with pain was not enough to deal with this level of infliction. It was medicine for after, not during an operation. And the blood made it harder to see.

She flipped between knife and magnet, making sure she was in the right area and then cutting closer if she was still off her mark. She used the back, rounded end to prod through the slits she'd made. Lack of sanitation was only starting to become a concern in the back of her mind. There was just so much blood, some if it already spilling past the hollow of his chest to stream down his belly and off his sides. She couldn't see anything, having only the magnet as her guide. She still couldn't find it. She was right there and it still felt like nothing when she poked through with the end of her knife. Too deep, not deep enough, she didn't know what else to do. How much blood did he have to lose before that became the bigger concern?

Only a small part of her mind was keeping track of the sound of beeps. She had two minutes left before her disguise and the magnet fell away. 

"Behind the ribs," Adrien grunted, his face wet with involuntary tears.

Ladybug paused, knowing she didn't trust a blade anywhere that came close to interfering with the organs below. Skin, fine; muscle, okay. But she had to draw a line at potentially slicing into part of his lung or, god forbid, his heart. There wasn't time to rethink--there was only now and the short minutes after. She put the knife down and brought her hand to the cut instead. With a whispered warning, she pushed her index finger inside.

Adrien's arms flew up over his face, his voice escaping in a strangled howl as his body convulsed in agony. She tried to ignore it, biting deep into her own bottom lip as she wiggled under his skin, prodding deeper, feeling the path she had made and those that had been made before her. With the magnet in her other hand, she could feel something pushing against her fingertips as it tried to spring up into the magnet's hold. She felt bone, tried not to react to the visceral instinct to pull away, and probed deeper, curling around them instead. And then she felt _it_ and all other thoughts fell away. She concentrated hard on using the magnet to draw it towards her, edging it under the curl of her finger's grasp with the pull of attracting forces. It was thinner than she expected, and a final millimeter of movement gave her no doubt to what it was. With it slipped carefully on her fingertip, hooked into place by the crook of her first knuckle, Ladybug gently but quickly pulled it out from its secreted place, pulling the trinket into the open air under the cover of blood.

She needed to break it. She needed to break it and send the healed butterfly on its way. That was wasted time, though, when all her eyes could see was the increasing pool of blood masking the once pale skin of the boy breathing erratically against the pale pink and now red cushion. She clamped her hands down hard over the gushing wound, trying to stay the bleeding with pressure though it caused more strangled screams and could do nothing lasting to make it stop. 

"I got it," she told him, wanting to at least let him know that much was over as tears stung in her own, tired eyes.

Adrien's head was still masked by the fortress that was his arms but she could see his head move, nodding, his jaw clenched too tightly to offer reply.

He was going to bleed out. This had been a terrible idea. Why had they thought they could do this themselves; why had her Lucky Charm suggested this as the answer? Ladybug took a deep, shuddering breath, easing up on the pressure to see if it was helping only for another wave of blood to seep under her lifted palms.

Plagg was doing circles in the air, floating over them in concern and fascination, his movements becoming increasingly erratic as he observed the morbid display. "Adrien, say it!" he commanded, bouncing hard into the arms that hid his face. "You know what to do; you need to say it!"

Ladybug watched, her hands clamping down hard again, the body in her care shuddering with intensity. Another spot in her earring disappeared.

With a deep breath, Adrien moved his right arm, holding it out in front of himself with shuddering motions that spoke of great effort. "Plagg..... transform me," he said, with a voice weak and impossibly small.

Ladybug sat back, giving room for the transformation to take place, a shimmering light running from head to toe as the body before her took on the black suit of Cat Noir. The black, _magical_ suit, a voice in the back of her head reminded her. She thought immediately to the mask that stayed on tight to the skin, even when someone was desperately trying to pull it off. As thought it too was a part of the body, like their entire costume which was fitted close rather than tight.

Cat Noir curled up on his side, cradling himself almost in a fetal position as his body shuddered and his breath hitched.

One last beep signaled time was up. Her own transformation was coming to an end.

"Don't worry," Cat Noir whispered, his voice hoarse as it took on greater volume. "I've got my eyes closed. I won't see."

She was going to have to trust him on that, she realized. Not that she had any intention of leaving him alone anyway. 

Within seconds, Tikki was back as was Marinette, the kwami wasting no time in inspecting the wounded boy even in her exhausted state. Marinette fell to her knees beside the chaise lounge, feeling numb, and not quite certain what to think when all she really wanted to do was cry. 

"I think.. I think I'm okay," Cat Noir said, his body still saying everything he was not about the way he felt right now. "I don't feel... wet.. under the suit. It feels like normal. I think... I think it stopped the bleeding."

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief with that, sure she would cry now that that fear had been dispelled. She moved closer, her arms gently wrapping around him from behind, her head dipping towards the nape of his neck as she held on and let herself at last feel everything past the panic of before.

They didn't speak at all for a long time. Marinette listened to the sound of his breathing, feeling the thundering of his heart beneath her hands as he slowly recovered from the shock and pain, falling into even patterns of both. She didn't care that he could hear her crying against his back. If he didn't know how much that scared her or how much she cared about him, he was an idiot. And perhaps, more than ever, he needed the assurance anyway. 

"What was it?" he asked at last, breaking the calm of silence that existed only in the air.

Marinette opened her mouth to tell him, then closed it quickly just in case. She didn't want him to somehow recognize her voice, the magic of her transformation no longer there to keep her identity secure. Instead she pulled away, wiping at her eyes as she walked on her knees to the spot on the floor where she'd dropped everything from those moments. There was still an X-Acto knife there, as well as the infected trinket both covered in blood. She picked the one up, wiping it somewhat clean on the well-stained furniture before pressing it into Cat Noir's hand. It was a ring, she noticed. A woman's ring. The thin band and decoration were evidence to as such.

He rolled it around in his hand, his fingers feeling at it curiously. "Can I look at it?" he asked.

Marinette glanced around the room, checking for reflective surfaces, and hid herself behind the back of the chaise lounge before prodding him to go on. She waited back there, trying to breath quietly, trying to listen in to hear him move now that touch no longer satisfied her fears that doubted he was still alive.

"Okay," he said at last. "They're closed again."

Waiting only a few moments more, she slid back into her previous spot, arms embracing him like a long apology as she settled against his back. She wanted to ask about the ring and what connection it had to him. Did it belong to a girlfriend? Someone else who broke his heart?

As though he could hear her thoughts, he whispered quietly with the ring held close to his heart. "It was my mother's," he explained, the trembling of his shoulders all she needed to know as Marinette held on tighter with the promise never to let go.


	8. Chapter 8

Cat Noir woke up to the strange and unexpected sight of a smiling, plush cat pillow curling up around his head. The white face with black stripes looked peaceful though out of place, pink accents highlighting its nose, paws and the tips of its pointed ears. He didn't remember seeing such large stuffed animals before, though he had tried his best not to spy out too many of Marinette's personal things. At least he felt sure this was still Marinette's room with the walls painted the same shade of a dusky, pinkish mauve. Which, as his senses returned to him, meant that he was probably lying in Marinette's bed. Which was located on a loft up a thin flight of stairs he was almost certain he himself hadn't climbed. Which, he supposed, went a long way in explaining the warm body spooning against his back and the arms holding tight around his waist. It was a lot to take in on a restless morning with the sun pouring in overhead.

He was almost a hundred percent sure it was Ladybug holding him, though he didn't dare look over his shoulder or even down at her trailing arm least she be out of costume with her identity laid bare. He'd promised he wouldn't look and so he'd stay put until she gave the okay. He wasn't exactly in a hurry to move anyway. He hadn't felt this good in a long time--emotionally or psychologically anyway, the physical bit was still the worst he'd ever had. But his heart felt full and he felt safer than in the company of a million body guards. Ladybug was there for him. Ladybug hadn't left his side. Of all the losses and betrayals he'd felt, at least she remained a constant there to cling to and abide.

Otherwise, he felt like death: hungry, achy, irritable death. Lunch the previous day had been his last, proper meal and whatever it was Ladybug had given him for pain had since worn off through the night. That he'd managed several hours of sleep was amazing, honestly, though he wouldn't have been surprised to have simply passed out. That had been, by far, the _worst_ idea he had ever had. Glad as he was that it was done and in the past, he didn't much care to remember it either. Or the fact that, in the pocket of his suit, his mother's wedding ring remained tucked out of sight. He didn't want to think about her right now or any of it for that matter. It was a new day, so said the sun and the birds singing outside. He had more immediate things left to consider that weren't mere reflections of the past.

Such as what had happened with Marinette. Or, as an extension, what kind of mess he'd left for her to explain should her parents inquire of her room. There was no way Ladybug would have let her back in so long as Cat Noir was there instead of Adrien. It would have been all too easy for his classmate to guess at his identity if she had. So where had she gone? And did she know not to worry about him anymore? He hated the fact that he'd sprung this all on her, involving her when he had nowhere else to turn. He owed her so much, especially for helping him attract Ladybug. He only hoped if he ever saw her as Adrien again he'd be able to thank her properly.

 _That_ was perhaps the most pressing of thoughts. What was he going to do about being Adrien? He didn't have a home anymore, and showing his face in public could get him caught and returned as a runaway. As Adrien, he couldn't avoid falling back into Hawk Moth's grasp. So Adrien was... dead? Even if they stopped Hawk Moth, what would become of him? His best option would be if his father simply died, but if all they managed was to rob him of his power, the persona of their arch nemesis would still be in control of his life. The latter was so much more in keeping with their powers and previous encounters with villains. So how was he going to make it on his own? Where would he live? How would he get by? How on earth was he going to afford all that Camembert? 

It didn't really matter, he supposed. Adrien was as good as dead and unless Hawk Moth died too, Cat Noir was soon to follow. He couldn't take his suit off without once again bleeding out. His transformation had stopped the bleeding but it had done nothing to mend the actual wound. Once he became plain Adrien again, it'd be like it had the night before. And if his father was alive, he was better off dead so what point was there to thinking positively anyway? He wasn't okay being a murderer. He didn't like the idea of being brought down to his father's level. Much better to die as a man he was proud to be than live as the heir of his father's villainy.

So that made everything rather temporary. His existence was prolonged just to help Ladybug take down the main butterfly. And he could do that. He could go with her that far and see things through to the end. And if by some chance, the evil in his father could be cured like the rest, just maybe he'd let himself hope for something more.

The arm around him tightened, the hidden face nestling firmly against his shoulders, hair glancing against the skin of his neck. He could feel her fingers tracing the hidden ring through his suit, an intentional motion that seemed to suggest she wasn't entirely asleep anymore. It was hard to be with the sun filtering in overhead. He wondered how Marinette ever managed to sleep in--or if she even did.

He could feel Ladybug breathing deep, the extent of her torso aligned with his back, every muscle she moved moving gently against his as though she was as much a part of him as his own limbs, so very little separating them as more than one flesh. It was kind of amazing. He'd never felt this close to another person in every sense of the words. He felt as though he belonged to her, an extension of her enormous presence. It brought him back to a more peaceful mindset with every centering, shared breath.

"How do you feel?" she whispered, her voice sweet as a memory and being locked tight in his mind to remain as one. 

"Alive," he answered in as equally soft a reply, not caring to go into specifics least she pull away.

She pulled closer, her palm pressing against the akuma-tainted ring as her fingers stroking gently in an effort to calm. "I haven't taken care of this yet."

Cat Noir breathed deep, resting back into her, not wanting this to ever end. "He won't know we've got it out if you don't free its akuma. Don't worry about breaking it just yet. So long as we don't, we have the element of surprise."

Ladybug nodded, the motion feeling like an affectionate nuzzle against his back. She said nothing more for a few more minutes, either too tired to pull away or not in the least concerned by remaining close. It had been a hard night for her as well. He regretted that. But she was amazing. He could never have done it on his own.

After far too short a time, he felt her yawn and slowly pull away, the pattern on the arm of her suit making clear she'd stayed as Ladybug through the night. "You must be hungry," she murmured, continuing to put distance between them as she scooted away towards the foot of the bed and the loft rails.

He nodded, rolling over onto his back, propped up on his elbows to watch. His stomach seemed to growl on cue while the rest of him started in on their list of functional complaints. "Starved," he admitted, ignoring the rest of his body's grievances for now.

Ladybug was already standing at the foot of the bed, her pigtails a little crooked from laying on her side with pillow marks to compliment her cheeks. She looked exhausted, he realized, and wondered at what point in the night she'd managed to fall asleep. With another yawn and a light stretch, she followed the railing with one hand to the thin staircase leading down. "I'll see what I can get us to eat. The perks of laying low above a bakery have to be pretty good."

"Yeah, no, it's... great," he agreed, watching her descend, feeling guilty all over again. The Dupain-Cheng's were good people. He didn't like that they were somewhat taking advantage of their hospitality even if alternatives were in very short supply. He began scooting closer to the foot of the bed, trying to keep Ladybug in his sights. "Say, where's Marinette?" he called down, hoping very much the answer wasn't that she was curled up on a couch somewhere while he occupied her bed.

"She's staying with a friend," Ladybug called back, her footsteps still taking her further away. "Her parents don't know you're up here, though, so try and keep as quiet as you can."

That, at least, was something he'd already figured out on his own. If anyone was here, it was Adrien, not Cat Noir. And even then, he was starting to doubt that story had persisted after playing doctor the night before.

Slowly, gently, Cat Noir sat up enough to look down over the room below. Ladybug was still there, lifting a towel from the seat of the chaise lounge, apparently having tried to soak up some of the blood that had soaked through to stain the pale pink a brickish red. It was absolutely ruined. Even the clear spot where his body had blocked the touch of blood had mostly filled in as it spread. Just one big, oblong stain of blood right in the center of the cushion. "Oh, my god. Look what we did. How is she ever going to explain that?" he moaned, not even bothering to include the added concern of a ruined towel that had only done so much in its clean up.

Ladybug looked from him to the chaise lounge, her face more nonplussed than impassive. "Um... pretty easily actually," she said, putting the towel in the wastebasket before angling the chaise lounge towards the windows and the sun.

Yes, dry it out. That was _definitely_ going to make it go away. Not. Chat Noir rubbed at his face. "How? That doesn't look like an accidental dye spill or some paint or whatever. That looks like blood. It probably even smells like blood because it is, without a doubt, blood."

"Yeah. And girls are kind of known to.. ya know... bleed."

Cat Noir's brain hit the breaks on that one, part of him telling himself she didn't mean that the way it sounded while another part rose its hand to remind them all they'd learned about this in school. "... yeah, but _that_ much?" he asked, eyeing the stain in a completely different way now that she'd put it into context with _that_.

"You really have no idea, do you?" she said, one hand on her hip as she shook her head sadly, a small smile teasing on her lips. "Look, it soaked in deep but the visual spread really isn't that bad. And most people aren't going to question much if a girl explains it as one of life's little accidents."

" _That much_?!"

"It's really not something you need to worry about," she called up, turning away and heading back towards the trap door below. "I'll give Marinette a hand with everything when it comes to that. Until then, lay low, keep quiet, and don't do anything stupid like trying to get out of bed."

Cat Noir sat up straighter, trying to portray something other than the invalid he'd been all of the previous day. "I'm a bit stronger than that," he argued, though most of his strength came from the magic of his suit.

"Wait till after you've eaten to prove me wrong," she kindly warned, then opened the floor door and went down.

He fell back against the bed the moment the door closed behind her, letting out a long, tired breath that filtered out the pain of moving around. He wasn't going to let her or anything keep him down today. There was too much to do to fall pray to discomfort and too much of a battle still left to fight.

The pastries she returned with were amazing. He'd expected, maybe, a buttery croissant to start the day; something simple that would sit well in their stomachs. The sugary delights were a well received surprise. He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten sweets for a meal. His job as a normal person was to look good in photographs, after all. Carbs made you fat and the camera already added ten pounds. Cat Noir loved getting to put all that aside, though, and really enjoy this strange morning with the girl he loved. Really, it was all too much like a dream. Waking up in her arms, being served breakfast in bed. If he came to find out he'd died the night before, he couldn't' say he'd be all that disappointed given how wonderful things were going post that. She hadn't even rolled her eyes at him once and they'd been in the same room together and awake for nearly an hour. It almost did seem too good to be true. Either way, he wasn't going to waste it with questions of validity.

He had too many questions that were actually important, after all. If it was all a dream or heaven he'd find out eventually. "So what happens now?" he asked, licking honey off his fingers to savor each and every bit of his morning delights.

Ladybug shrugged, sitting cross-legged at the far corner of the bed with her back leaning against the wall. "I don't know," she admitted, looking less sure of herself than Cat Noir was used to. "My best guess is we do to him what he's been trying to do to us: get his miraculous. Maybe... maybe it's making him do this."

Not any more than their own made them do anything, he surmised. He nodded anyway, though, as the rest of the plan made sense. It was time to get assertive in their cat and mouse game. He felt she needed to know what realistic expectations were, though. His family drama was more or less her business now anyway. "My father was like this even before Hawk Moth appeared. He never hurt me but it's not like we were ever close. Even before mom... before she left." His hand went to the ring in his pocket, not so absently petting the hidden band.

"What happened to her?" Ladybug asked, chewing on the inside of her bottom lip nervously. 

While he normally didn't like to talk about it, in this instance it was okay. She had more than earned the right to know with everything that was going on. "I don't know. One day she just wasn't there anymore. Didn't even say goodbye. He didn't say anything or ask anyone to find her. She was gone and he just accepted it. I haven't seen or heard from her since."

She frowned softly, a hand reaching out to pet his knee. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice kind and low.

"It's not your fault," he replied on instinct, used to pushing aside condolences with emotionless retort. "At this point, I can't blame anyone for wanting to get away from my dad."

She nodded, giving his knee a short squeeze before pulling back her hand. "We're going to have to fight him, you know."

"I know. I'm okay with that. The sooner the better, honestly. I don't want us Agrestes to inconvenience anyone anymore," he added with a smile, trying to joke rather let his inclusion in that go contested considering everything he'd dragged others into in only less than twenty-four hours.

She didn't argue the point but she did oblige him with a small, sad smile. She understood. It was amazing to see that she finally understood. "He's going to start looking for you soon," she warned instead, keeping them on task as was her part in their duet. "We don't have much time at all."

"Then let's not wait," he agreed. "Let's take the fight to him today before he's even had a chance to question that I may not be on the brink of being his servant anymore."

"You can't use Cataclysm," she reminded him.

"I have only _one use_ of Cataclysm," he corrected. Yes, it'd end his transformation and he'd go back to being Adrien but he'd dealt with those thoughts already and they didn't bother him anymore.

The same thoughts had obviously occurred to Ladybug, but her takeaway was quite different from his given the icy look she bestowed on him. "That's not acceptable," she argued, her mouth open to lecture him further though his fingers which found her lips caused a halt to the impending words.

"It's not a death wish," he interjected. "It's just part of dealing with this situation. I'm not going to go in there and _try_ to get myself killed. I mean, I've got to live long enough to Google menstruation now because I'm seriously curious as to how an organ _this big_ can produce something comparable to that volume of blood."

Ladybug tried not to laugh but seemed to fail if only in the short moments of embarrassed surprise. "What, no stupid puns this time?" she asked.

"You mean like how it's my _pur-pose_ in life to be at your side, and I'm not _kitten_ you when I promise no _hairball_ scheme is going to tear us apart, from _meow_ until _fur-ever_?"

She rolled her eyes but the smile was real, her head shaking with as much disbelief as appreciation. "Just promise me you're serious. No Cataclysm unless there's absolutely no alternative and even then, you take your five minutes to get to a hospital no matter what."

"I _paw-miss_ ," he lied.

She rolled her eye again. "That wasn't even a good one."

"Well, no one's _pur-fect_ ," he deflected with a smile.

With that, she seemed to give up temporarily on them having a serious conversation. Which was for the best. For both of them. He knew she'd never let him accompany her if she knew he had little intention of walking away from the encounter in the end.


	9. Chapter 9

He spent the entire day in bed. It was far from what Cat Noir had planned and not in the least his intention with so much waiting to be done. Ladybug gave him food and drugs, and the combination of the two put him out for hours on end. It took the pain away as well, which left very little to complain about outside the fact he'd lost another day with nothing to show for it outside someone else's pity. He was well aware he'd 'been through a lot' and 'needed to rest'. He had, in fact, been present in his life's events every moment that had passed. He wasn't surprised when things hurt or confused by the way even breathing deeply could send painful spasms through his chest. He knew he was an absolute wreck but that didn't mean their enemy had given them greater expectations for time. 

It made sense to wait until night, though. Gabriel would more likely be at home at night, and sneaking around the perimeter would be easier under the cover of darkness. Still, having accomplished less than nothing through the day, Cat Noir felt almost worse than had he tried to simply manage his condition sober and awake. What a useless lump he was. He was even beginning to worry that the improved conditions of his and Ladybug's interactions weren't exactly a mark of friendship as much as general human compassion. The dreams certainly didn't help. He just wanted to feel normal again. Normal and preferably not somewhat high on rather wonderful, absolutely appreciated, prescription opiods.

Perks of being in Ladybug's care weren't limited to treats and happy pills, though. She didn't jostle him if she needed him awake; she gently stroked his arms and face with whispered words meant to coax him to consciousness. Sometimes he pretended not to notice just a little longer, enjoying the attention and sweetness of her approach. Even if she didn't love him the way he loved her, she made him feel wanted and special in those calm moments of almost silence. Every six hours, just like the medicine said: wake up, swallow, and go back to bed. This time, though, with her gloved fingers pressing back his bangs behind his human ears, the words weren't "come on, little kitty" as they had been through the day, but instead "we've got to go; it's time" spoken much deeper and felt through his bones.

He blinked his eyes open, still feeling heavy and fuzzy all around like a sock pulled fresh from the dryer. He was sure he'd managed some sort of wordless, questioning reply but it was mumbled and garbled around a tongue that felt too big. No good; he was still pretty out of it. Even his mouth didn't want to obey.

"Just sit up," she commanded, offering her strength to help him comply. Together, at least, they got him back to sitting with his body only sort of slumping against the wall. "Good, good, there you go. Now open up." There was water and more pills waiting in her hand.

Cat Noir glared, pushing both away, beginning to question either her intelligence or motives if she thought that was going to get him out of bed. "No more," he grumbled, continuing to bat at her as she tried to hand them over again. "Stop it~ I'm still fucked from the last one."

She cocked her head curiously at his choice in words, but still persisted in trying to shove the medicine on him. "It's not the same pill. See? It's just paracetamol. The stuff you're on is going to wear off and you're going to want this in you when it does."

He eyed the pills, noticing they were at the very least a different shape from the ones before. "I was fine this morning before you started putting me to sleep," he whined, hating the way he sounded and yet still too foggy to care. He took his dosage like a good boy all the same. Paranoia wouldn't do him any favors anyway.

"You weren't running around rooftops and vaulting through the air this morning. You know that's not going to be pleasant. I really don't want to have to carry you so just... understand that as soon as we get started, you're going to sober up and be thankful for anything that takes the edge off."

She wasn't wrong. He didn't entirely agree with her assessment of how bad everything was going to feel but he also hadn't felt much of anything throughout the day. Preventative care was fine. At least she wasn't trying to fuel excuses to do this without him. He appreciated that more than any amount of medicine to be honest. Now if only he could get to his feet to cooperate and get himself standing once again. Having to stand on a bed put that into hard mode immediately, but Ladybug was there to help him up with the wall offering its support as well.

"Up and out, yeah?" he said, seeing a bit of a problem in that but working it out as fast as his foggy mind could.

Ladybug nodded, going first up through the window overhead. She seemed quite pleased when he used his staff to push himself to follow, the extended metal rod taking him out and onto the rooftop with little effort required. Still hurt. She wasn't kidding--the first pinch of pain had been pretty good at clearing his mind of the day's cobwebs. Quick note to self: favor the right arm. At least it wasn't a matter of altering preference.

And he certainly wasn't going to let it show. He smiled and tried to take the lead, flinging himself across roads over rooftops to attempt to outrun the piercing pain and alleviate Ladybug's doubts as to whether he was fit enough for this. He wasn't. Maybe she knew it too but so long as she let him pretend and didn't ask him to slow down or be more careful they could both ignore it and let things ride until their final deeds were done. This was Hawk Moth, after all. This was the final boss. There was no way she was taking him on alone, and he was glad that even she seemed to accept it without fuss. Besides, getting into the Agreste's estate was much easier than sneaking blindly around the interior. She needed someone on her side who knew the layout as well as their prey. No one wanted to end up in a closet or butlers' pantry on accident while trying to negotiate better ground.

Instead, as soon as they got inside, Cat Noir made sure they wasted no time in pursuing his father's haunts, sneakily vaulting and leading the way to the second floor where he hoped they might find him at rest in bed. It was the advantage they needed so of course his bedroom was empty. His office, then, or perhaps wherever it was which was the location of his lair. Despite the room being empty, though, Cat Noir found himself unable to just lead the charge away. There was something about it that froze his feet to the polished wood floors and made him question if he'd perhaps lost his way.

It looked exactly the same as in memory. It was startling how little had changed, how even his mother's vanity still stood against the far wall with her jewelry still waiting on the table to be worn. Her ring would have been there, he imagined. He could picture her in his mind, getting ready for bed, removing the jewels his father designed but keeping them out to re-wear the following day. Her face still smiled down from pictures near the bedside--photos of just her and Gabriel, radiant and in love, with a few others that included all three. It felt almost more like his mother was somewhere in the room rather than the ghost of his father who remained unseen. Like a mausoleum created in memory of a woman who neither called nor wrote. 'Disappeared' he'd always been told; not dead but gone with no intention to return. The permeation of her presence in everything within in the room made him fearful he might not have been the first family member to be harmed for his father's ambition.

Ladybug stayed close beside him, only wandering off a little ways to inspect smaller details of the room, her attention keen on the jewelry lying out. Looking for a miraculous? He supposed it was worth a shot. They didn't exactly know what they were looking for but butterfly themed was probably clue enough.

"You okay?" she whispered, eyeing him through the mirror as she fingered through things which only by virtue of a maid's attention had not begun collecting dust.

Cat Noir nodded, still only somewhat aware he hadn't really moved since they'd entered the room. It just felt wrong to be inside. "I'm fine," he said, leaning against his staff for support. "Just... surprised, I guess. He didn't go after her when she disappeared but... he hasn't moved or gotten rid of anything of hers."

"Like he's waiting for her to come back," she surmised, though her tone was uncertain at best.

"Like he knows more about her leaving than he's told me," he stated, letting her know they were both thinking the same thing inside. "Like maybe he's responsible."

Ladybug pursed her lips but did not say anything, remaining uncharacteristically quiet. This was different from their normal work, though. They couldn't just pretend the people involved were all the same; that they had no connections to the world and only existed as the heroes that they were. They both knew he was Adrien Agreste, that in the photographs it was his face smiling in the arms of his missing mother, that the man they were targeting was in fact his father and that his crimes were not just against Paris but against him personally as well. Anything she said would be against his own blood, tearing apart what little was left of his understanding of family and unconditional love. Of course she'd chose silence. She wasn't heartless; she already knew. It wasn't a conversation time could afford.

Not out loud, anyway. Inside Cat Noir's own mind there was plenty of time to rage and seethe over questions and half-formed ideas. At this point, anything felt possible as far as the actions of his dad. Everything was still too fresh to have the luxury of more than crusting scabs. "You know, it's kind of hard to choose which version I prefer: the one where she just walked away without a word or the one where he took her from me," he said, his eyes glued to a photograph that either depicted two villains or one and his victim smiling brightly from the bedside.

"Then I think, no matter what else happens, it's important that you ask him."

Cat Noir nodded, neither looking forward to it or dissuaded by dread, as he tore himself away from his mother's smiling eyes and retreated to the hallway once more. 

They rushed across in the direction Cat Noir had never been permitted which lead exclusively towards his father's office. It was where he worked when he wasn't visiting the studio, churning out ideas as inspiration hit or where he retreated when nothing else appealed. When he was there, Nathalie was the only one who could contact him. Unlike the cold familiarity of stepping into Gabriel's room, barging into his office held no memories for Cat Noir. It was no different from charging into a stranger's home and in that he took the same care. Would there be traps? Uncertain. Would there be henchmen waiting? Who knew? Maybe Nathalie was more than just his day time assistant; maybe she served Hawk Moth too for all he knew. But it was empty and dark inside with only sketches and some materials left to litter the table tops. No sign of Hawk Moth or signs of Gabriel for that matter. Yet again, their search had come up empty. Which meant, in all fairness, he could be anywhere. The choice seemed to be only to lie low and wait. With his entire body fueled on adrenaline, that was not Cat Noir's favorite option. 

Unzipping the stomach pocket of his suit, he pulled the dangerous ring out, holding it up where they could both see the tiny glimmer of platinum resting patiently in his palm. "Well, if he isn't here, should we get his attention by going ahead and cleansing this?"

"Maybe," Ladybug said, her eyes still darting side to side in search of threats. She stood closer, inspecting the ring, her brow furrowing in thought. "Where do you think little akuma's go once they're freed if we don't cleanse them first?" she asked, the tone rhetorical, perhaps, but still giving pause for reply.

"Back to Hawk Moth?" he guessed, sure that something had certainly been able to get word to his father the first time he'd unsuccessfully tried to infect him.

Ladybug nodded. "I think it's a good bet. If we follow it, we may still get to him before he realizes what's happened. We might still be able to get the jump on him."

Cat Noir looked again at the delicate ring as sentiment caused him to hesitate in his intentions. There was no other way, though, and they had already come this far. Gritting his teeth, he crushed it neatly in his palm, only partially surprised at how easily platinum shattered.

Out from his hand, to no one's surprise, a black and purple butterfly rose up from the broken remains, flapping harmlessly in the air before circling back towards him. It bounced against his ring, his staff, his mask, his ears, flying around him to no avail as it tried to sink back in and infect him for good before giving up and fluttering off behind them. It was no faster or less easily chased after than a normal butterfly would be. Ladybug looked at him, her sapphire eyes determined but understanding as she nodded and lead the charge in pursuit.

More stairs, more hallways, a mirror reflection of the wing Cat Noir knew but still strange in its unfamiliarity. They hurried quietly towards the third floor as the butterfly ascended, not wishing to sound like a heard of animals racing through the home, each squeaky stair a risk as they climbed after the akuma's path. That it ended in a palm was unsurprising. That they stood in a large, darkened room made sense given where they'd run to. That the only real light that shone in the darkness was a stark violet that traveled from a man's head down to his toes only lived up to expectations. None of it was surprising in the least for the two of them as they stood ready to end the fight. 

Hawk Moth alone looked somewhat startled, his attention focused solely on the akuma in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A-to-B chapters are a pain and I've about as much desire to work on this until it meets my standards as you all have for me to stall the story talking about characters running around places and not doing much. Final showdown next chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

Ladybug could barely see within the dark room. She saw the glow of a transformation and the way the metal walls caught its glimmer but it was over far too quickly for her to get a decent look. It was enough to know he was there but not enough to launch an attack. At least Cat Noir could see, she reminded herself. If there was reason to duck or a good moment to strike, she had no doubts he'd instruct her on the play. As far as fighting went, she didn't have much faith in his abilities right now. He had other uses though, as she did her best to remind herself. Even at his best, he wasn't exactly the brains or the brawn of their operation, but what he was was still significant to their overall success.

From her brief view of the room, she knew it was empty. That meant little room to hide or take cover but plenty of room to move around. It had appeared to be domed walls which would make for some interesting yo-yo tricks as far as ricocheting tactics. The way it reflected the light made her fairly certain they were dealing with metal, and the way Hawk Moth's voice echoed only added validity to most of those observations.

"How?" he demanded, his voice booming in the darkened chamber. Though he didn't clarify, Ladybug felt she still understood what he meant. Asking how they'd found him would be pointless given the akuma in his grasp and the fact that his son knew who he was by now. She doubted, though, that he'd expected to see that particular butterfly returned. He'd certainly gone a long way in trying in ensure it wouldn't be a simple matter they could address over lunch. He seemed to growl, his voice low and rumbling in his chest. "You reckless fools," he cursed, and the dim light of the akuma faded away.

"What, you just expected me to give in? You really don't know the first thing about me, do you?" Cat Noir taunted, pain masked in his voice by sheer force of will. 

With her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness, Ladybug caught the slow shake of the villain's head as he remained standing in the center of the room. "I would have thought even you two wouldn't be this stupid. Hand over your miraculous before you manage to make an even bigger mistake."

"We're never giving you our miraculous," she told him, her yo-yo ready in her hand to make the first strike.

"However, taking yours sounds like the _pur-fect_ plan."

Hawk Moth laughed mirthlessly and certainly not at Cat Noir's pun. "You have no idea what you're messing with; the scope of power you have at your disposal. This is your last chance. Give them to me, or else I will take them by force."

Ladybug could not help but smile as time finally gave her all the sight she needed in the darkness to plan her first strike. "Perhaps you haven't noticed, but it's two against one. I don't think you're in any position to make demands, Hawk Moth," she boasted, reaching back to prepare for a distance throw.

"Then you bring this on yourself," he said with ominous gravity. And with that, all plans immediately went out the door.

She didn't know what it was. Soundless it rose from the ground, masking her view instantly in a strange cloud of opaque shapes. She let her yo-yo fly and it cut through without incident but connected with nothing, sheering through the clouded air only to clang against the wall on the far side. She'd never seen a shadowy presence like this before which was instant in its camouflage. Hawk Moth had been there, and now he simply wasn't. She scanned quickly, all her senses on high alert, as she tried to find him again in the living air.

Cat Noir's pain-filled howl was the last thing she'd wanted to hear. She turned quickly to her side, eyes wide as she expected him to still be standing there, only to see Hawk Moth instead with his cane held out like a sword. Cat Noir was already on the ground. His rasping breath echoed, his gasping squeaks of non-air like something out of a nightmare. Before she had time to react, Hawk Moth was once again out of sight as the fluttering cloud engulfed him again.

Butterflies. They were butterflies.

Knowing didn't help. She swung her yo-yo into the fray again, her jaw clenched tight in concern. It connected with nothing and she swung out to cover a greater mass within the swarm. It only seemed to agitate them with Hawk Moth still hidden both by darkness and their wings. When her yo-yo did finally find something in the moving air, it was in the form of a mighty strike which sent her yo-yo flying like a pitch. She reeled it back but it was too far stretched to return to her in time. Butterflies assaulted her face, forcing her to close her eyes, while a hand struck out from the darkness and enclosed itself around her throat.

Before she'd even had time to gasp, she felt the back of her head collide with the wall, bright circles of light blooming behind her closed eyes as pain blossomed against her skull. She kicked furiously, her hands ripping at his gloved fingers as he held her off the ground, her blood supply almost nearly as cut off as the air was from her lungs. Her yo-yo was gone; she couldn't even remember where it had gone.

"You have no idea the powers you are messing with," he said, slamming her into the wall again but this time using it to keep her pinned. Her feet no longer reached him but the wall supported her enough that she could breath in tiny gasps. The butterflies no longer hid his face and in his eyes she could swear she saw cold flames. "Soon, they won't be of any concern to you at all, though. Your miraculous are mine and this childish game has come to an end."

He squeezed her throat tighter, this time seeming to intentionally mean to strangle her. Easier to get the earrings off an unconscious person, she considered. Or a dead one. She dug her nails into his wrist, trying to swing her legs up over his arm to unbalance him and get herself out of his grasp. A few heavy knocks with the cane kept her swinging, though, with no chance to get away.

"Put her down," she could hear Cat Noir order, though it was through the heavy pounding of her terrified pulse within her ears.

"Don't interfere," Hawk Moth replied without easing up in the slightest. "I'll deal with you after I've finished with her."

"Finish with her the way you finished with Mom?"

There was a momentary relaxation in his grip as the words wounded him far more than any of Ladybug's strikes had managed thus far. She took his weakness as a chance to take a deep breath, her struggles renewed as oxygen and blood rushed through her body again. 

"This is _for_ your mother," Hawk Moth shouted, his attention slowly returning to the prey in his grasp. 

Ladybug scanned the room through squinted eyes, finding Cat Noir still on the floor with a hand to his chest and a darkness that could only be blood against his lips. "If that were true, it wouldn't be this way."

"You're too young to comprehend what is going on"

Cat Noir shook his head and used his staff to get back onto his feet.

She needed him right now but oh how she wished he wasn't there all the same. This was asking too much from him. His body wasn't ready and though he tried to come across as resolute, she doubted his heart was prepared either. It was far too much to ask of him and still everything he wanted to do. He loved being Cat Noir; she couldn't take that from him now. But this still felt like the worst idea she'd ever been glad she'd had. 

He couldn't stand straight. Even using his staff, he stood hunched over with both hands supporting his weight on shaky legs. He was a dark shape in a dark backdrop but to him, she knew she was as easy to see as in daylight. He could see her hanging helplessly from his father's arm, his hand keeping her pinned and starved for breath against her throat. It's what made him stand even when his body was more than likely screaming at him to stay down. Ladybug could only hope a father's love could end this fight without hurting him anymore.

"I won't let you hurt her," Cat Noir rasped, wiping the darkness from his lips with the back of his hand. "I won't let you take away her identity."

Hawk Moth snarled, his grip tightening once again. "You'd choose to protect her over the well being of your entire family?"

"I will always choose her," he replied with a crooked smile. With his hand extended out, he called, "Cataclysm!"

Ladybug tried to shout at him but lacked the breath to do so. There were spots in her vision and a ringing in her ears while the world inside her screamed _No!_. He wasn't supposed to use that. She didn't know what else there was to do but part of her still riled and swore that it didn't need to be that.

"What are you going to do? Kill me?" Hawk Moth asked, his voice taunting and severe.

"No," Cat Noir said, still smiling like the fool he was. "I just thought maybe we'd 'disappear' together. Sounds like the Agreste thing to do." And in a flash, strength she hadn't suspected in him sent him rushing forward, his staff soaring through the air to strike hard into the wall not far from her face.

Hawk Moth turned in surprise, trying to pull Ladybug in front of himself as a shield but found the metal staff now in his way as she held on to it, fighting his pull. She pushed herself up, going against the natural bend to his arm, causing him to let go as he continued to turn towards the approaching threat that was Cat Noir's dark claw. The hero tackled him and they both fell to the ground, two shadows midst a flurry of soundless, scattering butterflies. And in a moment they were gone, the only clue the scream of man surprised to find himself falling and the sudden burst of light from a hole made in the floor below.

Ladybug held on to the staff, trying to swat the butterflies from her face while she squinted against the sudden light. Hawk Moth's cries were ended long before she could see but even blind, she knew what Cat Noir had done. He'd decayed the floor under them causing them to fall. From the sound of it, it hadn't been a simple ten foot drop.

Carefully, Ladybug set herself back onto the floor, her breathing slow to keep from coughing though even then, a few airless hacks stole her remaining breath. Hesitantly she stepped towards the broken floor, steeling herself for whatever sight might greet her below. They wore magic suits; they were more resilient than normal people. Even still, she did not want to see what caused the silence in the two men's wake.

The light was from the grand entrance. Ladybug could see the white marble flooring below with its black designs, the red plants near the large front doors, the majestic staircase leading up. She could see the two unmoving bodies as they lay in a pile on the ground. She grabbed her yo-yo and anchored it fast, repelling down as quickly as she could to their side. She couldn't tell if they were breathing, but she could see plainly there was already blood beginning to fill in the white grout lines with red. Her heart was in her throat as she rushed to their sides, grabbing Cat Noir's wrist in her own shaking grasp as she felt along the veins for a pulse. 

She couldn't find one. 

She reached for his neck instead, feeling along the artery before finally releasing a shaky sob of relief as she found proof of life there at last. She couldn't move him, though; she didn't dare move either of them. She checked Hawk Moth and found him alive but unconscious too, his head seemingly the source of the blood as he'd landed on his back beneath his son. She needed to call an ambulance. She needed to get some help.

The beep of Cat Noir's ring as it counted down the remaining minutes of his disguise sent Ladybug running for a phone, her mind in shambles, as she thought through the things that would have to be done to protect all their identities even in light of what it cost in terms of a life.


	11. Chapter 11

Marinette walked quietly into class, sat in her seat, and tried not to think about anything. She wasn't allowed to think just yet because as Marinette there was nothing to think about. Marinette, as a normal girl, wouldn't know anything about what had happened at the Agreste home the night before. And so, like a normal girl, she needed to do what normal people did and carry on with her day as though nothing had happened.

It wasn't as hard to do as she'd thought it would be. She was still numb on a level that felt cold and removed, somewhat distanced from it all by the sheer weight of everything. It was just too much to feel. There was joy in finally defeating Hawk Moth but regret in the manner it happened. There was terror in not knowing if Adrien was okay, and a gratefulness in being able to hold on to that ignorance as well. She didn't want to know until everyone knew. She didn't want to have to carry that on her own in secret. She'd held his hand while waiting, listening for sirens while the floor turned red. She didn't want to be the first person in homeroom to arrive in a state of concealed mourning so long as the unknowing gave her hope.

At home there were two new kwami's getting settled into her room. One of them was munching on Camembert. It was almost literally the least she could do. She hadn't been able to answer questions like 'what happens now?' or 'what's going to happen to Adrien?'. She didn't know. Part of her didn't want to know. The rest was nearly drowning in restless anticipation. She hadn't slept all night, choosing instead to sit in the moonlight, wanting to cry but finding no tears available to unleash. It hurt too much for tears in a way she hadn't experienced before. The time for crying seemed to have passed her by, leaving only an aching hollowness to slowly consume her. In private. 

In public, it was time to put on a pleasant face, nothing but mindless worries and carefree concerns showing forth from a teenager's mind. Her classmates were wandering into homeroom slowly, face by face filling in the normal crowd, and she needed to be just like the rest of them on this normal, unassuming day.

"There you are!" Alya proclaimed, plopping quickly into the seat at her side. "Feeling better today?"

Marinette forced a smile. "Yeah, much better. Was probably something I ate," she explained, following the course set by her past excuses. It felt as though she'd made them years ago even if it had somehow only been a day.

Hiding Adrien the day before had been a logistical nightmare. They couldn't both be absent on the same day--well, they probably could have been, but she didn't like the idea all the same. Drugging him to sleep and then slipping out for class had been a necessity to keeping her identity disguised. It made her parents believe her when she said everything was fine and gave her an alibi when Ladybug dropped in. All it took was spending the first few hours at school before making her excuses there and secretly dropping back into her room at home. Besides... she hadn't like the idea of leaving him alone. Even if she'd made sure all he could do was sleep, she'd wanted to be there for him most if not all of the time.

Like now. Even though she couldn't go. Because Marinette didn't know.

Alya unpacked her bag, drawing out her tablet and accessories, her phone resting on top with the news already brought up on the screen. Looking for Ladybug sightings from the previous night, Marinette concluded. It was exactly what she needed her to do. "I texted you the homework but you never texted me back," her friend explained, her phone screen fading to black in disuse as she continued to get her desktop ready.

"No, sorry. I, uh... I ended up sleeping all day. Thanks for having my back, though," Marinette replied, her eyes darting to the phone again in hopes she'd find it soon back in her best friend's hands. Someone needed to find out and tell her; someone else had to be the one to break the news.

"Girl, you don't look like you've slept a wink," Alya said, painfully accurate in her estimation. "Are you sure you're feeling okay today?"

Marinette smiled big, trying her best to summon a laugh as well. "I can tough it out until the weekend," she assured her, and resumed watching her in her morning routine, willing her to move faster and get back to her mobile's display.

"Well, you either will or your won't. I'm pulling for you, though. Just hope Nino got a hold of Adrien at least."

That name; _his_ name. Something to hold on to. "Still no sign of Adrien?" she asked, playing along, feeling anxious in her duplicity.

Alya sighed, leaning back in her seat. "Yeah, he went silent all yesterday. Nino dropped by his house after school but they wouldn't let him in. Didn't even want to talk about Adrien. He said it was weird but normal person weird, not Agreste weird. They're always pulling a lot of secretive stuff there."

"Is he worried?" Marinette ask.

Alya chuckled, winking at Marinette's lack of subtly. "Not half as worried as you are," she teased. "Nino said Adrien goes off the grid pretty regularly. Photo shoots, extra classes, the boy's hardly got enough free time to breathe. Sometimes he can't get to his phone, sometimes by the time he does the battery's dead. Happens all the time, he said. He's just worried since he didn't come to class."

For once, Marinette didn't want things to be wrapped up neatly and sold to her as a happy package. She was screaming inside for someone to investigate. Surely it was on the news; there had to be someone who knew what had happened. Famous designer Gabriel Agreste had been taken from his home in am ambulance for crying out loud. Why weren't people talking about this already? She desperately needed them to.

"Ah, that's Nino~" Alya sang, picking up her phone as a tone and lights signaled a message had come in. She unlocked her device and read silently to herself, her smile slowly slipping from her face.

Was this it? Marinette tried not to react too strongly, tried to remember she didn't know and that this was concern born from the look on Alya's face and not part of the half-hidden terror in her heart. "Something wrong?" she asked, prodding, begging.

Alya shook her head from side to side, her mouth hanging open slightly. "I... Okay, so... so Nino just... he's not going to be in school today."

Too slow. Get to the point. Don't peel, just rip. "Oh? Is he alright?"

Alya paused, pursing her lips, looking over the message in her hand again before standing up and taking Marinette by the hand, leading them out and down towards the locker room with little explanation given outside 'hold on'. Inside, her face was still glued to her phone's screen, the reflection of news feeds in her glasses letting Marinette know this was going to be it.

Despite feeling so anxious for it moments before, the imperative to run away pulsed loudly through her veins. 

"You might want to sit down," Alya warned, and Marinette sat quickly without any questions as to why. She was sure she was projecting so much more than curiosity at her friend's behavior but there was nothing for it now. "It's about Adrien," Alya continued. "He's... he's in the hospital."

Marinette nodded, willing her to go on before realizing her mistake. "Hospital?" she repeated, as though the word had only just then become real to her. "Is he alright?"

Alya took a deep breath, her face saying everything Marinette would normally need to hear but still not enough to give her permission to already know. "Nino says it looks bad. I checked out the story. Sounds like there was an accident at home and Adrien and his dad fell through some rotted flooring. He might not.... Nino's going to stay at the hospital today. Just.. just in case."

Not dead, then. He'd made it through the night. It was a short lived relief, though. Now came the part where she didn't have to act, and in many ways it was harder than the hours before. "Adrien might not what? Walk? Wake up? Make it to class next week? How bad is he? Did Nino say what's wrong with him?"

"I... I don't know. He said bad and the news said... well, it said a lot of stuff." Alya sat down beside her on the wooden bench, her hands closing around Marinette's to comfort her. It was only in her steady grasp that Marinette realized her own hands were trembling. 

It was so hard not to feel guilty. Nothing she had done had been contrary to Adrien's wishes but she still felt like she should have done something else. Anything else. If she closed her eyes, she could still feel the way his body had felt in her arms. She could effortlessly recall the peaceful look on his face when he slept and the gentleness he exuded. She could also remember the strangled sounds he made when he tried not to scream and the texture, warmth and smell of his blood. The pillow on her bed still smelled of his sweat and the chaise lounge was soaked in further evidence of his time in her care. And now he was in a hospital because she hadn't helped him enough. She felt rather sure she'd always hate butterflies.

They left school to join Nino. Every ad they passed that featured Adrien had flowers in front it already, small groups of crying girls crowding around their favorite ones. It made Marinette feel ill. Adrien wouldn't want to be remembered as just a pretty face if it came down to this being the end. Could she reveal to the world he had been Cat Noir, though? Regretfully, the answer was probably no. It set a precedent for super heroes to be among them rather than unknown forces which fought for good. And eventually there would be a new Cat Noir anyway. Speaking of his death would only over complicate things. Which meant the part of himself Adrien loved the most would go down as the part that no one ever knew. That in itself was almost more heartbreaking than the thought alone that Adrien might be dying. 

She didn't even want to think about the reality of replacing Cat Noir; of fighting beside someone else who wore his mantle and was called by his name. That was the way it was done and had been done for centuries. It sounded so heartless, though, to acknowledge he was simply one of many. And how many had died in the line of duty? How many Cat Noirs and Ladybugs had lost everything in the battle against evil? Did any of them retire? Were they usually adults who had lived some meaningful portion of their normal lives? She didn't want to know; didn't want to see the bigger picture. Adrien would always be her Cat Noir and nothing Plagg or Tikki said would change that.

The hospital was flooded with admirers. Marinette hated to be among the many people there inquiring about Adrien Agreste but in this it couldn't be helped. As far as the staff were concerned, they were all the same and so they all received the same instructions: family only, please leave. Nino was sat in the waiting room though, and they quickly joined him instead. 

Nino looked terrible and wore worry like a robe, his entire body shrinking inside the weight of his concerns. He smiled when he saw them, though, and stood to give them a hug. He was Adrien's best friend, Marinette reminded herself. From a normal life perspective, this had to hurt for him the most.

"They tell you anything?" Alya asked, better adapt at speaking for both of them when it came to things like this.

Nino shook his head, hands shoved deep in his pockets. "I'm down to waiting to see if I can spot that Nathalie lady coming in. She can vouch for me. I think. I've got pictures on my phone of him and me hanging out if she needs proof that I'm not just some fan."

Alya rubbed his shoulders, frowning with a slow nod of understanding as the three of them took a seat.

That was how they spent their day. That was the way things went for hours. Just sitting in a hospital lobby, waiting for someone to acknowledge them while Alya searched the web for anything important made public thus far. As Nino browsed his mobile gallery of fun moments the two boys had shared, Marinette limited her hopes to only that even super hero cats might have nine lives as well. Surely there was some divine sense of justice in letting her friend live to make such puns. He had to live. There was just no other way things could be.

She never told him that she loved him.

She put her face in her hands and finally cried.


	12. Chapter 12

It hurt to wake up. 

Adrien groaned miserably, flexing his hands against the sheets only to feel the uncomfortable tightness of a needle lodged in the vein. It felt like a fire had been lit against his chest though his skin felt tight as though from chill. There were numerous complaints from his nerves running on and on from his head down to his feet but none more alarming than the pain he'd already become somewhat accustomed to. The little red button in his tightening hand was the one saving grace he had. And it reminded him, just barely, that this wasn't the first time he'd pulled out from his dreams. He had so few memories of being awake outside the introduction of his beloved happy button. As it was, he pressed five times just to be sure the morphine drip understood this was not a test.

It wasn't instantaneous, though. He'd have to wait. Not long, but still long enough for the pain to drag him up from the darkness of sleep into the well-lit world of the able. It was brighter than he remembered. More colorful too. There were flowers, cards, even a stuffed bear all shoved together to make room on any and all flat surfaces. Too much. Far too much, and none of it nearly as touching as their good intentions meant them to be. But then again, he wasn't in much of a mood to be cheered up. Everything hurt and apparently he was in a hospital and worse than all that, he wasn't wearing his ring.

He didn't... he _couldn't_ remember. It wasn't there. He remembered the fighting and the surprise of his father stabbing him in his chest with his blunt cane. He remembered Ladybug being strangled and choking on a lack of air. There was a quick sense of duty and the look of triumph in his father's eyes and then... then it wasn't really anything. It just ended and began again laying here. The few times he had grasped consciousness before he'd been aware of its absence but there was no way to ask where it had gone in those short minutes of hazy wonder. Did his father have it? Did Ladybug? After they fell, had the fighting continued on? He didn't know. He couldn't know. And no flowers or cards would help him find the answers either.

Other than the decorations and well wishes, his room was empty. No family, no visitors; just the soulless eyes of a teddy bear welcoming him back to the waking world. It wasn't entirely outside what he expected. He didn't even know if his father was alive or perhaps instead in a room not unlike his. There was so much he didn't know, it was hard to be awake at all. Awake was panic wrapped in depression and a paranoia that threatened his sanity as to whether the wrappings on his chest weren't just part two of his father's master plan. 

A nurse must have noticed something with his vital readings. There was a knock at his door before it slowly opened to reveal a smiling woman in white. She walked towards the screens and machines at his bedside, glancing around at each with her voice soft and low. "Heart rate's a bit high. You feeling okay?" she asked, pressing buttons he couldn't discern the meaning of.

He stared at her dumbly, not knowing what to say. Of course he wasn't okay. It just wasn't anything she could help, though.

She gave his shoulder a gentle pat before lifting the sheets to look at the bandages, nodding her approval as she carried on with her medical assessment. "Don't let these scare you. You're not all that bad. Just a deep cut but you'll be just fine."

Adrien nodded, wondering what everyone thought had happened that night. He wasn't sure he was ready to try and make a believable lie.

He followed along with her questioning: pain assessment, bed tutorial, and general inquires on his current state. He nodded more than anything, going along with necessity despite the vacancy of his mind. There was only one thing she could probably tell him that he really wanted to know.

"Any questions?"

"Is my father dead?"

She blinked at him, surprised into stillness, as she stared at him from his bedside. "Oh, you poor dear," she said, patting him on the hand. "He's just fine, love. In fact, he was released home a few days ago. I had no idea you didn't know. You must have been so worried."

Adrien nodded even if she had rather missed her mark. Worried, yes, but not in anticipation of his loss. That would have been a best case scenario. This... this was his reintroduction to hell. "He doesn't have like... amnesia or anything?" he asked, hoping for some kind of promise of a better future than the one he foresaw.

"Walking with a cane for now but otherwise in perfect form," she said.

Adrien thanked her and sank back into his bed, trying to keep his immediate thoughts far from suicide.

His father didn't visit him that day, though. Nor the day after that. He saw everyone from his homeroom class, several people he knew from previous years, and even photographers and other professionals he'd worked with in the past. But not his father. Not even Nathalie as his proxy. He had no idea what to expect once they released him but a happy reunion seemed quite far removed from probability. He hadn't seen Ladybug either, of course. If she was even still alive. The breadth of knowledge he did not have could fill a reservoir and there was nothing he could do to pursue it so long as he remained in his hospital bed.

His missed Plagg.

He'd forgotten how lonely it was to truly be alone.

Near the end of visiting hours with his dinner done and nothing more left to distract him, Adrien turned to his television for some kind of relief from the horrors within his own skull. He watched the news, mostly, but it seemed Ladybug was not in need for now. Or didn't exist anymore. Either way. There was a knock at his door by around the second commercial break, and a timid creek as the door peeked open slightly to let a young girl pop her head in. It was Marinette. Adrien wasn't sure what he'd expected but the sight didn't disappoint. There wasn't much time but if she was there, that usually meant Alya and Nino were too. He could always use a little time with them, especially with his own thoughts the prison he needed to escape.

"Hey," he called, waving her in. 

Marinette smiled gently as she entered. Alone, he noticed, as she closed the door behind her. It was a little disappointing but not by much. "I thought I'd come by myself this time," she explained, noting his obvious observation. In her hands was a small, red gift bag clutched firmly by its ribbon. 

Adrien returned the smile, sitting up with the television turned off. "Have a seat," he suggested, but she shook her head side to side, walking instead to stand beside him.

"I can't stay long. I mean, I would love to, but they said I had to make it quick," she explained, looking far more nervous than she had any need to be. "I just... I needed to make sure it was just the two of us. Because of what I know about what happened that one night."

That one night? Adrien cursed himself for not remembering even as he blessed her for her discretion. The stupid plan, the kind gesture, the summoning of Ladybug and the blood stain on her furniture. Being kicked out for the night. Marinette knew more than almost anyone about the mess going on in his life at that time. No, he was very glad she'd chosen to do this alone. He didn't want to have to explain any of it to Nino or the rest.

Marinette continued talking, as though their time was visibility ticking down. "Ladybug told me everything. Well, not _everything_ everything but... but I guess what she felt I needed to know. It's pretty cool that you're friends with Ladybug. I just wish she could have done more for you. She wanted me to tell you that she has all three. And said something about plenty of Camembert. She said you'd understand what she meant by that. I just hope I said it right."

Adrien nodded dully, feeling at peace even as his heart lay broken. They'd won, then. Ladybug was the one in possession of their miraculous. She was alive and well and out there somewhere. Out there but not in here. Taking care of Plagg but no longer able to take care of him. 

He felt close to tears even though he was done with looking weak. "I don't suppose she said if she had any plans on returning at least one of them?"

"She didn't say. Just... that they're safe. And she hopes you get well soon."

It was foolish to hope for anything else. It was foolish to think she'd risk it. Putting a miraculous back in the Agreste home was too dangerous and almost assured disaster. So, that was it. He couldn't be Cat Noir anymore. Somehow he'd already known that, but the pain of it still struck him.

"I'm sorry," Marinette said quickly, thrusting her gift bag towards him in both hands. "I'm sorry she couldn't do this herself. But this is from her too. I'm sorry," she repeated, the apology heart felt but unnecessary.

Numbly, Adrien took the gift in hand, not certain he even wanted to see what consolation prize life had afforded him in its red trappings of ribbon and paper.

Marinette took a step back, her hands fidgeting behind her. "I'll let you... it's late and visiting hours are... I'm sorry," she said again, and quickly fled the room.

He'd meant to thank her for her help. He'd meant to tell her how much her friendship meant to him. Even had she stayed, though, he didn't think he'd have managed. He just wanted to go to sleep now. Just sleep and nothing else.

Inside the bag was a stuffed ladybug and a piece of paper printed out with words. He pulled both out, letting the bag fall to the floor, as he quickly read the message typed out for him in blocky, ten point font.

" _We'll find a way. He wants to see you. I want to see you. We won't abandon you. When you're sent home, we will protect you. There are no goodbyes. You will always be the only one and I will not give up until you're back beside me. Whatever it takes, we will be us again. I love you,_ " she wrote, without signing her letter. 

Adrien pressed his morphine button for more.


End file.
